Hands-free orgasms aren't a myth - sex experts share 6 hands-off ways to reach climax
- You can have a hands-free orgasm by dry humping, using a showerhead, or trying sex toys.
- For a touch-free orgasm, try orgasmic breathing, tantra, or squeezing your pelvic floor muscles.
- Hands-free orgasms are a great way to mix up your usual masturbation or sex routine.
Hands and touch are usually crucial when it comes to achieving an orgasm, but what if you didn't need your hands, or even any kind of touch, to climax?
When you hear people talk about hands-free orgasms, they may be talking about either touch-free orgasms, meaning that there is no touching involved, or hands-free orgasms, meaning that touch may be involved, but not necessarily with the hands.
Here are six ways to have hands-free or touch-free orgasms.
Hands-free orgasms
If you want to orgasm without using your hands, but you still want some physical contact with your genitals or other erogenous zones, try the following methods.
1. Dry Humping/Rubbing
External friction can be great for achieving a hands-free orgasm, says Rachel Zar, LMFT, CST, a sex therapist at Spark Chicago Therapy and the Northwestern Medicine Center for Sexual Medicine & Menopause.
Zar suggests going "back to the basics" by humping or rubbing your genitals against a piece of furniture or a pillow, for example. She advises you to experiment with different levels of friction and pressure to determine what feels best. Additionally, if you're with a partner, you can try grinding and dry humping different parts of their body.
2. Using pressurized water
Related Article Module: 4 tips and tricks to have the best water sexZar says using pressurized water can also provide friction and different types of sensations, whether on your genitals or other erogenous zones, such as your nipples. You can use a removable shower head, jets in a pool or hot tub, or running water from the bath.
Important: Zar cautions that people with vaginas should not allow water from the jets or showerhead to shoot into their vaginas so you don't throw off your vaginal pH. It should only be used externally.
3. Using sex toys
There are some sex toys that are designed to be used hands-free, says Zar. One type of vibrator like this is the U-shaped We-Vibe Sync, which can be inserted into the vagina. It will stimulate both internally and externally, and fit snugly enough that you can be hands-free.
Related Article Module: How to broach the topic of sex toys with your partnerAnother option Zar mentions is remote-controlled or app-controlled vibrators that you can either insert or leave in your underwear and then let your partner control the vibrations. If you have a penis, you can try using vibrating penis rings.
Touch-free orgasms
If you want to experience an orgasm without the use of your hands or any outside tools, there are some methods you can try.
"If your definition of orgasm includes a buildup of pleasure that leads to an intense release and forgetting who you are, then no-touch orgasm is just as real as more conventional types, even though it can certainly vary in intensity," says Anya Laeta, Somatic Sex Coach and Certified Tantra Teacher at SF Sex Coaching.
Still skeptical? A 2005 study found orgasmic pleasure and satisfaction were more related to the cognitive (mental) aspects of the orgasm rather than the sensory (touch) aspects.
Laeta recommends the following three methods.
1. Orgasmic breathing
Orgasmic breathing is a technique that may allow you to reach an altered state of consciousness by changing the speed and methods of your breathing, says Laeta.
"Orgasmic breathing will help you stay fully focused, connected to your body while simultaneously increasing the blood flow, building more arousal in your system, and allowing sexual energy to circulate throughout your body," says Laeta.
How to practice orgasmic breathing
- Lie comfortably on your back with your knees up and your feet flat on the floor. Keep your spine straight. Don't use a pillow.
- Soften your jaw, relax your throat, yawn.
- Breathe in and out through your mouth. If it feels too uncomfortable, breathe in with your nose and exhale with your mouth. Make sure to take in as much air as possible.
- Breathe in one fluid motion with no pause between inhalation and exhalation. Don't force the exhale.
- As you inhale, slightly lift your hips and expand your belly. As you exhale, press your lower back to the ground and flatten your belly. This rocking motion helps to move sexual energy.
- On an exhale, contract your pelvic anal muscles (it would feel like you are trying to stop yourself from peeing). On an inhale, relax all the muscles by bearing down. Or do it in reverse if it feels more comfortable.
- Now visualize a stream of white light that runs from your perineum (the area between your genitals and your anus) all the way up to your crown (the top of your head.) With each inhale, you will pull this light up along the spine, and with each exhale, it would move back down to the perineum.
- Try this out for at least 15 minutes at first, and depending on how it goes and whether you want to amp it up, you can go for as short or long as you want in the future.
Laeta says breathwork is generally safe, but if you have cardiac arrhythmia, a history of heart block, or take certain antipsychotic medications, you should refrain from it.
Additionally, when you practice this type of breathing you might experience side effects such as nausea, dizziness, or increased heartbeat. These will subside if you return to slow, deep belly breaths.
2. Squeeze pelvic floor muscles
Squeezing and releasing your pelvic floor muscles brings more blood flow and energy into your genitals, creating more arousal, says Laeta. She says that to increase your chances of having an orgasm with this technique, you can try an ancient Taoist technique called "Big Draw."
How to squeeze your pelvic muscles to orgasm
- Follow steps 1-8 of Orgasmic Breathing meditation.
- At the end of it, start breathing faster for 30 sec to build up more energy.
- Now take three full deep breaths. On your third breath, fill up your lungs with as much air as you can and hold your breath.
- As you are holding it, contract every muscle in your body: your stomach muscles, your PC muscles, butt, your hands, and feet.
- As you do it, imagine pulling energy up your spine from your genitals all the way up toward your head.
- Keep clenching for as long as you can hold it and then let go.
3. Practicing Tantra
Today's version of Tantra is a modern take on the ancient mindful practice.
While orgasms are not the main goal of the Tantra practice, Laeta says that becoming more mindful and attuned to your body can lead to orgasm as a pleasant side effect.
"The secret to awakening our sexual energy is awareness. By being mindful and present, we tap into the body's innate wisdom and the flow of life force energy," says Laeta.
She says some common Tantric practices that may help you are:
- Breathwork
- Tantric yoga
- Chanting mantras
- Meditating
- Dancing
- Having Tantric solo or partnered sex
Insider's takeaway
Experimenting with touch-free and hands-free orgasms can be a great way to switch things up from your usual masturbation or sex routine. You may find that it ends up being super pleasurable, or you might learn that it isn't the right move for you.
"If you find something that works for you in getting to an orgasm, go with it. But if you get to a point where you're thinking this hands-free thing is getting more frustrating but it is pleasurable, use your hands," says Zar.
Remember, the ultimate goal is pleasure, so keep trying new things, whether hands-free or not, to learn what provides the most pleasure to you.