Gen Z's 'Carrie Bradshaw' shares the rules older generations should be following for dating in the digital age
- Dubbed Gen Z's "Carrie Bradshaw," media personality Eli Rallo shares dating and life advice online.
- Rallo told BI that older generations shouldn't write off or dismiss dating apps.
On a fateful Saturday night in June 1998, Carrie Bradshaw declared "the end of love in Manhattan" on HBO viewers' TV screens during the premiere of the soon-to-be hit "Sex and the City."
Over 25 years later, the dating landscape can still feel just as dire.
But content creator and author Eli Rallo, nicknamed Gen Z's "Carrie Bradshaw," has the rules to change that.
Rallo, 25, provides fast-talking counsel on dating to her community of over 1 million followers through her viral "rules" — which package advice into succinct, easily followed steps — and her debut book, "I Didn't Know I Needed This."
With Valentine's Day around the corner, Business Insider spoke with Rallo about her top rules older generations (and Gen Z) should follow for dating in the digital age.
Take a note from Gen Z and advocate for yourself
"Dating is not just about other people, it's also about you," Rallo told Business Insider.
Unlike the Gen Xers and the millennials of the "Sex and the City" generation, Rallo appreciates that Gen Z approaches dating — and life — from an advocacy lens.
"Gen Z is consistently looking to self-advocate in many different regards," Rallo told BI, whether they're fighting against being overworked and underpaid or not treated right by who they're dating.
"I like being part of the generation that wants to be treated well and respected, and would rather be alone than in a relationship that didn't serve them,” she added.
Treat dating apps like any other new technology
Although the apps may not be for everyone, Rallo doesn't think they've "ruined" dating.
"The dating-app fatigue and the hatred of it is kind of lost on me because I think they can be such a beautiful way to connect to others," she told BI.
There's still a stigma surrounding online dating — but as Rallo always tells her followers, embarrassment is a choice.
"Everything is going to feel cringey and awkward until you meet the love of your life," she said.
If you're struggling to get on board with dating apps, Rallo suggests you just see them for what they are: a tool to make life easier.
With them, she said, you can "make connections with people that we might not have seen otherwise."
"If you want a relationship, not using dating apps is going to make that more difficult for you," she told BI. "You're taking one method of accomplishing that out of the process."
Instead of wondering where you stand with someone, just ask
When it comes to defining what a relationship is, Rallo's advice is just simply to ask.
She told BI that people will usually make it obvious if they want to be with you, but "asking is the only way to get to the bottom of it."
"By not asking, you're only wasting your own time," she added. And don't be afraid you'll "scare someone off" by being direct.
"If you scared somebody off by asking for basic decency and respect and clarification, that's not the right person for you," she added.
Lastly, prioritize honesty when dating online — and don't worry about being so serious
One of Rallo's top tips for online dating? Don't lie.
"Sometimes we feel pressure to embellish, but if you're looking for a relationship, mark down 'looking for a relationship,'" she told BI. "Don't waste your own time."
Still, being honest about expectations doesn't mean dating needs to be so intense.
"Make it fun," Rallo said. "Dating doesn’t have to be so serious and terrible. It can be silly and just a fun way to make connections."
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.