- I have friends who are over 20 years older than me.
- They've helped me with advice about being a new teacher.
A couple of my friends and I sat at a table with our picnic dinner as we watched the sun go down behind Lake Michigan. We chatted as we munched on our ciabatta sandwiches and salads, soaking each other in. It was one of those nights when you hop in your car to head for home and somehow feel like someone infused your soul with an indescribable lightness.
Only, one of the friendships I shared that night isn't what society deems normal — because one of them is about 25 years older than me.
And this treasure of a woman, she's not my only cross-generational friend, either.
Cross-generational friendships are awesome
You see, cross-generational friendships are not only healthy but fulfilling. They're so remarkable they should be normalized. Friendships that include people of much different ages can go beyond the typical colleague or neighbor pleasantries. Sure, that's typically how they start — brainstorming at the office or chit-chatting with your next-door neighbor. But once you allow yourself to go a little deeper with the people you see on a daily basis who also happen to be either much younger or older than you, your whole world opens up.
My wiser-than-me-friends and I spend time together outside of the boxes society tries to fit us into by hiking, paddleboarding, enjoying a meal, gardening, and more. It doesn't matter that they have a few more gray hairs or wrinkles than me. Slowly, we've grown to become genuine friends — friends who share the deep and dark stuff with.
They've helped me out
This past year was a difficult one for me, for example. I started a new teaching job, and it came with some very prickly hiccups. I told my friend and colleague, "Sometimes it's intimidating because all of you veteran teachers are just so natural at this job."
She said, "But we've been doing this for 30 years. You're not only new and should give yourself grace, but you're bringing new and fresh ideas to this school."
By being vulnerable with her, she was able to help me get over my feeling of inadequacy about my new teaching job. And with her wisdom, I began to soar.
Forming these friendships isn't much different than when you form them with individuals of your own age. You start out just chatting casually, and then eventually, you realize you truly enjoy your time with them. So, you try to carve out special time with them.
Cross-generational friendships are a win-win because we're each giving one another what we need. For me, I'm getting age-old wisdom — something that's still blooming inside me. My friends, who are a couple of decades older than me, are happy to share their stories and encourage me to listen to my intuition if I have any kind of dilemma. They listen to me as I enter all of the frustrations that midlife can bring — because they've been there. And my older friends, they're getting a younger, sometimes fresh, perspective.
I'm grateful for these new friendships in my life because they inspire me to live a life I know is fulfilling. Yes, they rely less on social media and more on real-life. Simply put, they're present. They take slow walks to inhale everything around them, but also still set goals for themselves. My one friend, for example, wants to bike The Great Divide Mountain Bike Route once they retire. They're purposeful about their time because they know that it could be fleeting. But really, it's fleeting for all of us.
Spending time with those who lean into their lives and are intently present feels like a gift.