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Ariana Madix kissed an old friend at Coachella. A rebound hookup can do wonders for healing after a breakup, a therapist says.

Apr 20, 2023, 02:49 IST
Insider
Ariana Madix at Coachella.Gonzalo Marroquin/Stringer/Getty Images
  • "Vanderpump Rules" star Ariana Madix was spotted kissing fitness coach Daniel Wai at Coachella.
  • Fans praised her rebound hookup, which came after she ended her 9-year relationship with Tom Sandoval who cheated on her with her friend.
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"Vanderpump Rules" star Ariana Madix was spotted smooching an old friend at Coachella this week. Online, fans cheered on Madix for her rebound hookup, which came after she learned her ex-boyfriend cheated on her with a friend.

Madix and her ex-boyfriend Tom Sandoval were together for nine years. But their relationship ended suddenly in March when Madix learned that Sandoval had been cheating on her with friend and fellow castmate Raquel Leviss. The affair allegedly began in the summer of 2002, sources familiar with the incident told Page Six.

Madix broke up with Sandoval upon learning of the affair, then headed to Coachella a month later where she reunited with fitness coach Daniel Wai. He and Madix previously worked together when she was a bartender in New York and they reunited before the music festival at a mutual friend's recent wedding, according to Entertainment Tonight.

At Coachella, Madix and Wai posted photos of each other on their Instagram accounts. Paparazzi also caught them embracing and later, Madix seeing Wai off at the airport. On social media, Madix fans supported her romp, saying she looked happy and that Wai seemed to bring out her passionate side.

Indeed, a rebound hookup or sex can offer a major confidence boost, according to Isabelle Morley, a Boston-based therapist. She said that getting under someone new can release feel-good hormones, help someone see the bigger picture, and boost self-esteem.

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Rebound sex can satisfy a natural craving for physical intimacy

Often, the idea of having sex with someone new soon after a breakup is shrouded in shame and false assumptions that new connections are a Band-Aid for true healing.

Morley said that societal shame around sex can lead people to feel guilty for trying rebound sex, but that shouldn't be the case. If the sex is unsatisfying or done for revenge, it could lead someone to miss their ex more, but that isn't always the case, Morley said.

Though the extent of Madix and Wai's time together at Coachella is unknown, even a low-stakes physical moment with someone new, like a steamy kiss, can pull someone out of the post-breakup blues, according to Morley.

While it's important to take time to yourself to process what happened, how you feel, and how you want to move forward, there's nothing wrong with jumping into a connection with someone new, according to Morley.

In fact, a satisfying hookup with someone new can cause a rush of endorphins, chemicals our bodies create as a natural pain reliever and mood-booster, Morley said.

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She said that, as humans, we were born with the need to be touched and physically held, so being deprived of that can increase feelings of isolation and distress.

"Touch helps us to connect to other humans and feel seen, loved, and valued," Morley told Insider.

Fun new connections can minimize feelings of hopelessness

Rebound sex can also help someone put their recent breakup into context and help them feel hopeful about future connections, said Morley.

Even if the connection doesn't extend to sex, and involves a few kisses, a great conversation, or some laughs, it can help a newly single person see the bigger picture.

"When we break up with somebody, it's an incredible loss. All of a sudden, there's a hole in our life where there once was a person, and there is the feeling that we won't find somebody else to fill that hole," she said.

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But having a fun and flirty interaction with a new cutie can shift someone out of that negative mindset.

"It reminds you that there are other people out there, that you will not be alone forever. And it can reaffirm you're attractive, you're worthy, and that people want you," Morley said.

She added that rekindling a connection with an old acquaintance or friend could be extra beneficial because you already know that you feel comfortable around each other. At the same time, Morley cautioned against having rebound sex with an old flame or ex you may still have unresolved feelings for, as it could make the aftermath of the hookup more emotionally difficult.

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