'And Just Like That' actress who plays Charlotte's nonbinary child helped craft character's coming-out scene and loves that it's not 'forcibly sad'

• Charlotte York-Goldenblatt's child said their name is Rock and their pronouns are they/them.
• Rock's teachers gave Charlotte and her husband Harry advice on how to best support them.

Warning: Spoilers for "And Just Like That" episode 5 ahead.

Charlotte York-Goldenblatt's 12-year-old child came out as nonbinary on the latest episode of "And Just Like That."

Charlotte, played by Kristin Davis, discovers her child is using a different name, Rock, and they/them pronouns, during a meeting with a group of moms from their school. When Charlotte confronts them, Rock tells their parents they posted their coming out on TikTok and shows their mom the short video of them rapping and announcing their name.

Alexa Swinton, the actress who plays Rock, told Insider she collaborated with the showrunners to make the scene light and fun, incorporating current TikTok trends and taking inspiration from many Gen Z style coming out posts.

Swinton told Insider she's happy to play a character who has a positive coming out experience.

"I know that a lot of my friends also had a lot of experiences with that and that they were really scared," Swinton said. "So I think it's great that we also have people who are very comfortable with that being represented."

Swinton said Rock's coming out on the series showcases a family learning how be supportive.

"It's not forcibly sad, and it's just kind of like they're themselves and they don't have to be upset about that," Swinton said.

Charlotte journey to support Rock as they come out is a major plot line in the "Sex and The City" revival. Later in the same episode, Rock's teachers sit down with Charlotte and her husband Harry and offer to connect them with resources, like counselors and support groups.

Even though the relationship between Charlotte and Rock is fictional, Charlotte's concern around how to best parent her child is not. To support a child questioning their gender identity, allow them to take the lead and make sure they are exposed to examples of nonbinary folks through movies, television and books, experts say.

Trans kids often understand their gender identity at a young age

According to a study by LGBTQ+ non-profit The Trevor Project, 26% of queer youth ages 13 to 24 in the US are nonbinary, and 20% are questioning their gender identity.

Like Rock's teachers tell Charlotte and Harry on the show, experts say in real life, listening to your child is key.

"For parents, it's super important to follow their child's lead," Dr. Samantha Busa, clinical director of Gender and Sexuality Service and psychologist in the Department of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at NYU Langone Health, previously told Insider.

"Kids, as a normal part of development, are going to explore different play and different dress, but if their child discloses their identity in some way or if they're asking questions about their own gender or LGBTQ people in general, approach that with an open mind."

The largest studies of transgender children published in 2019 also found trans children in supportive households develop their gender identity at the same age as their cisgender peers. This means trans children often understand their gender variance as early as 4 years old.

According to Busa, it's important for parents to expose their children to media containing queer and trans people in order to give their kids the language to be able to communicate their gender.