After losing my leg in Iraq, I became an elite athlete and business owner. I want my kids to understand the power of choice.
- Melissa Stockwell was the first female American soldier to lose a limb in active combat.
- Four years later, she became the first Iraq War veteran to qualify for the Paralympic Games.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Melissa Stockwell. It has been edited for length and clarity.
In 2004, I deployed to Iraq as a second lieutenant in the United States Army. Just one month later, my vehicle was hit by a roadside bomb. At that moment, I became a statistic no one wants to be: the first American woman to lose a limb in active combat.
When I woke up, I didn't realize how severe my injury was. Instead, I asked for my Chapstick. I knew I had it on me because I tucked it into my sports bra each day for a little bit of comfort in Iraq. That only lasted a second. I quickly realized that this was a life-changing injury.
I suddenly had new labels: disabled and amputee. But I wasn't going to let that be the end of the story. I knew I had the power to choose how I responded, and I was going to make it great.
Four years after the attack, I flew to Beijing to compete in the Paralympic Games. At the closing ceremony, I was the flag bearer for Team USA. I had been awarded a Purple Heart and Bronze Star for my military service. Now, I was representing my country in a new way.
I started dominating in the paratriathlon
After Beijing, I decided to become a triathlete. I liked combining running, biking, and swimming into one competition. I started strong, winning three back-to-back world championships.
At the same time, I was taking on a role that was even more important: mom. My son was just a baby when I competed in the 2016 Paralympic Games in Rio.
Now my kids are 5 and 7. I train for triathlons for about 20 hours each week. This is a sport where you can't take time off, or you'll slip out of that elite level. Training takes time from my family, but it makes me feel more me. To be the best mom I can be, it's essential for me to have my own passions to focus on.
When you're a parent, you have to define your priorities and know what energizes you. It's easy to say you don't have time for something you love. But the time is there: It's just a matter of how we use it.
My kids are exposed to lots of people with disabilities
It seemed like my kids didn't notice my injury for a long time. My husband and I joked that they probably thought all moms had one leg. But once my son started school, his friends began to notice that I only had one leg.
I tell the kids that everyone has a unique challenge. Mine happens to be very visible. My daughter has Celiac disease, which is special and challenging on its own. I try to show them that I'm not too different.
The kids are also regularly exposed to amputees like me. My husband and I own a prosthetics company, and I run a nonprofit, Dare2tri Paratriathlon Club, that aims to get disabled people involved with triathlons.
From my military service to my amputation to being a mom, business owner, and elite athlete, there's a lot to my story. But I think it boils down to personal choice. We all have obstacles. We can't choose what those are, but we can choose how we respond to them.
There's so much good in the world. Rather than focus on what went wrong in your day, focus on what went well. They may be small, but the good things are there. By focusing on them, you can live the life you want to live.