Science- In 2022, Cassidy Davis threw a "Chaotic Singles Party" with 65 men she matched with on dating apps.
- The concept was a hit, so she kept hosting parties — though she met her boyfriend at her first one.
Cassidy Davis had spent five years dating single men in Los Angeles, and she was sick of it.
Davis said that on dating apps she'd match with seemingly compatible magicians, actors, writers, and musicians but became tired when their in-person connections were lackluster or outright disappointing.
"A dumpster fire is how I would describe it," Davis, who works as an actor, said. Last year, when Valentine's Day was approaching, she decided to delete her dating apps and try something different.
She instructed her girlfriends to invite dating-app matches they'd yet to meet to her apartment for a mixer. Worried no one would show up, Davis invited 65 men she'd matched with on Tinder and Hinge.
Davis made a TikTok of the event, which she named "Chaotic Singles Party," that got 1.7 million likes and over 1,000 comments, many from users who said they wanted to join or throw their own. And after Davis received rave reviews from her own guests — including one who would soon become her boyfriend — she decided to keep throwing the lively parties at venues in various Los Angeles neighborhoods.
The concept remains: If you're attending, use it as an opportunity to invite someone who you've matched with on an app but who's still a stranger.
Davis said that her millennial and Gen Z guests, who typically learn about Chaotic Singles Party on TikTok or Instagram, often tell her how refreshing and welcoming the in-person experience feels after years of relying on dating apps to find love.
She hosted 17 parties in 2022, mostly in Los Angeles, and wants to expand to five new cities this year as her social-media followers from across the country beg her for their own parties, she said.
Davis connected with her now-boyfriend at her first mixer, but she still throws them
When Davis planned her first party, she said, she broke her own rule and invited a handsome man she'd met at a bar, not on a dating app. She knew she had a crush on him but didn't know if the feelings were mutual, so she hatched a sneaky plan involving a video confessional.
Davis propped up her phone in her bathroom, creating a makeshift private booth for a confessional-style video she later uploaded on TikTok. "Everyone, tell us who you're crushing on," Davis told her guests. In the video, she and the man admitted they liked each other. They've now been dating for a year.
Even off the market, Davis decided to keep curating the parties for her single friends and social-media followers who loved the concept. She said that focusing on her guests rather than her own search for partnership had been an unexpected benefit.
"It kind of lets me be everyone's wingwoman and buddy at these events," Davis told Insider.
Since her first party, Davis has found ways to make the experience more welcoming. She added ice-breaker games, like question cards that ask, "What's the worst date you've been on?"
Each guest also gets a "gold heart," a sticker they get to give to their top crush before the night is over.
"And then there's always that one hot guy covered in gold hearts by the end," Davis said.
Davis estimated that 250 to 350 singles had attended each Chaotic Singles Party she'd thrown this year. She's hosted social-media influencers and has spotted a few contestants from the Netflix reality show "The Circle" there too. Ticket prices have ranged from $10 to $30, depending on the party.
You don't have to be an extrovert to attend Chaotic Singles Party
Davis said she's always been outgoing, so she knew a mixer would feel more fulfilling to her than meeting men on dating apps.
But for people who are introverted and worry about fitting in at a huge singles' mixer, Davis said she's designed the event to be welcoming for anyone who wants to take a leap of faith to find connections.
She said that one time, a group of single women bought Chaotic Singles Party tickets, thinking they'd make it a pit stop on their night out — but after heading to bars where it was unclear who was looking for new connections, they headed back to Davis' event for the rest of the night.
"They were like: 'We missed the energy of the singles party where everyone was open. Everyone was welcoming, and even if they weren't into us, they were gentle and respectful about it,'" Davis said. "Whereas at a regular bar it's a lot more cutthroat, a lot more like a jungle."
She estimated that half of her attendees are self-described introverts who want to push themselves outside their comfort zones. For nervous first-timers, she suggested treating the event like a social experiment and inviting a cute stranger you matched with on a dating app. Even if you don't click, your hopeful energy can propel you toward other fun connections, Davis said.
"I feel like really putting yourself out there energetically opens the door to more dating opportunities," she said. "Maybe that's the woo-woo LA girl in me, but I do really believe that. My best advice is to be bold and get out of your comfort zone."