- Karli Kucko is a therapist who shared her dating-profile red flags on TikTok.
- Kucko told Insider she was frustrated with the time and energy she spent on incompatible matches, but paying attention to red flags helped.
A therapist shared the warning signs she looks for on dating app profiles in the hopes of helping singles like her avoid
Karli Kucko, an Austin-based sex and couple's therapist, decided to make TikTok videos about her
"I am young, but I've been through a lot relationship-wise. I got married super young out of college and got divorced and did my own therapy," Kucko said.
Despite her continued self-work, Kucko said she's had "such a horrible time" on dating apps and knows she's not the only one. She said figuring out her red flags, like a potential match saying they'd prefer to talk on Instagram or saying they want a low-maintenance mate, has helped her save time and mental and emotional energy in her dating life.
"I really started analyzing things because I was thinking, 'I can't keep doing this. I can't keep going on dates with random people, so I've got to put a little bit more energy and thought into it.' And that's really when I started honing in on those specific red flags, and it has definitely made a difference," Kucko told Insider.
Her dating-profile red flags include making demands and asking for an Instagram follow
Kucko made a few videos outlining the warning signs she looks out for on others' profiles.
She said her first red flag is someone who makes demands of others, like "must be active" or "must love the beach." Though they may seem harmless, this phrasing signals inflexibility and potentially narcissism, Kucko said.
"That's a huge red flag because it's telling me you think it's more important you to make demands or have these expectations for your partner than to tell me about yourself," Kucko said.
She also looks out for signs a dating-app user isn't prioritizing their dating life, and said phrases like "Follow me on Instagram because I don't check here often," or "Looking for a low-maintenance match who doesn't take things too seriously" are red flags for her. If someone writes "Just ask me" in response to a dating-app prompt, that's also a sign they're not invested in their dating life, according to Kucko.
To figure out your own red flags, look for patterns when you go on dates
Kucko said she developed her list of red flags after going on lots of dates and noticing patterns among the people she met. It's not an easy fix for dating woes, but it pays off in the long run, she said.
For example, if you notice dates keep ghosting you after you meet in-person, consider the traits or behaviors these dates have in common so you can recognize them before you spend time on a date, Kucko said.
"It just takes time, practice, putting yourself out there a lot, and getting your heart broken a lot to find the patterns and to start narrowing down what these traits are that seem to be incompatible with you," Kucko said.