A single mother found out she was dating a married man through a Facebook group

• An anonymous 36-year-old divorced mother fell for a man who she also thought was divorced.
• On a local community Facebook group, she learned that he was still married, she said on the podcast "Seeing Other People."

A single 36-year-old mother thought she'd found love with a fellow divorcée. But a year into their relationship, a Facebook group helped her discover her lover was happily married to another woman.

The woman, who remained anonymous to protect her identity, shared her story on the dating podcast "Seeing Other People," with host Ilana Dunn.

She's since cut ties with her married lover, but not before telling his wife about his infidelity, the woman told Dunn. Though the woman stumbled upon her lover's infidelity online, others are on the lookout for their partner's potential infidelity. Local Facebook groups like "Are We Dating the Same Guy?" and "Are We Dating the Same Girl?" have become popular in major cities across the country. And more singles are sharing screenshots of their matches' profiles and conversations and video recaps of their dates, giving yet another opportunity for cheaters to be found out.

Seeking kindness after a toxic marriage

Prior to meeting her deceptive lover, the woman said her ex-husband cheated on her twice, causing her self-confidence to plummet.

When dating after the end of a toxic relationship, it's common to struggle with confidence and the feeling of being alone, relationship coach Erika Ettin previously told Insider. Sometimes, those struggles can cause people to enter new relationships too quickly, Ettin said.

Over a few week's time, the woman said that she fell for the man's gentleness. He would compliment her often, which she wasn't used to experiencing in her marriage.

"It's easy to fall for all of the pretty shiny things that you're missing, that you want in a partner," the anonymous woman told Dunn.

But the woman was also confused about why he didn't want to use labels like boyfriend and girlfriend. As their time together continued, she learned he had multiple relationships, she said.

The woman's first dominant/submissive relationship wasn't what she expected

As their talks became more intimate over those weeks, the man said that he wanted a dominant/submissive dynamic, which intrigued the woman because she'd never been in one before, she said.

Generally speaking, a dominant/submissive dynamic is when one partner consensually relinquinshes power, either sexually, psychologically, or both, Insider previously reported. In this dynamic, the dominant partner and submissive partner negotiate how their roles will play out in a relationship or during sex, before engaging.

The woman said that she and her lover didn't discuss the details of their dominant/submissive relationship much. But she didn't mind it because he brought her flowers and gifts and they had mindblowing sex, she said.

Even when his behavior began to seem "unusual" to her — he worked "odd" hours and avoided going on dates with her — she kept seeing him for a year, saying she was addicted to how she felt when he paid attention to her.

The woman learned he was married through a sexy photo on Facebook

A year into the relationship, the woman said she randomly joined a local boudoir photographer's business page. It was there that she saw recently posted photos of her lover and another woman posing sexily together.

Having a hunch that it was her lover's wife, the woman called him out and eventually called his wife to share her discovery and apologize.

The woman said it felt like the worst breakup of her life, but now feels like she's in a better place with a relationship that feels like a true partnership, she told Dunn.

Want to share your personal experience with cheating? Email the author at jnaftulin@insider.com