A professional matchmaker had a baby on her own, and says it will help her attract a partner

• Professional matchmaker Rachel Russo prioritized having a baby over finding "the one."
• Choosing a sperm donor had similarities to dating, but didn't require romantic chemistry.

When Rachel Russo ended a relationship at age 35 because her partner, a dad of two, didn't want any more kids, she decided to shake up the traditional order of family-building operations.

Rather than wait to meet the right person and risk losing her most fertile years in the meantime, Russo pursued solo parenting before seeking a mate.

The move was especially bold given Russo's profession: professional matchmaking.

"I believe that you could have a lot of what you want in life, but not necessarily at the same time," Russo told Andrea Syrtash on the Pregnantish podcast. "So this was me just prioritizing and saying, 'You know what? Baby's first, love can come later, love can come at any time."

Now the mom of two-month-old Serafina says her parenting choice makes her even more desirable to potential partners.

Finding a sperm donor had similarities to dating

Russo first considered co-parenting, or finding a platonic partner with whom to raise a child, but decided that would complicate things too much when she does find "the one."

She turned to California Cryobank, which sponsored the Pregnantish episode, to choose her sperm donor. Russo sought one with a clean bill of health and a proven track record of creating healthy kids. Then, she looked for a donor she'd want to date — minus height and romantic chemistry qualifications.

Russo wound up with an MBA-holding entrepreneur with athletic and musical talent. In his file, the man said he became a donor because someone in his family struggled with infertility, and told an endearing childhood story about defending his brother against a bully.

"I felt like, 'Oh, this is a quality guy. I would date him. This is going to be the donor for my child,'" Russo said.

Going through IVF without a partner in a pandemic isn't for everyone

If Russo had gotten pregnant before the pandemic and while living closer to friends, she'd have someone to give her the hormone injections needed to undergo IVF and to accompany her to doctor's appointments. But she did both alone. "If you're considering this path, you have to have an independent streak to you," she told Syrtash.

Going through the experience in 2021 had its benefits, like avoiding the stress of commuting.

While some family members and social media followers were confused about her path to parenthood at first, once Serafina arrived, they were swayed.

"So many people like that are saying to me, 'Oh, I wish I did this' ... this wasn't around in my time. I'm so happy for you. You're so brave,'" Russo said. "Once baby's here and they see the success, everyone is on board."

Her dating life is already taking off

At first, Russo worried that her journey would cast doubt on her matchmaking talents. But then she thought, "People can be married and they're not happily married." They can also get divorced.

"My professional ability to match other people is based on my intuition and my database and my resources and interpersonal skills," she added. "It really doesn't have to do with have I found 'the one' on this time clock and gotten married."

Her nontraditional approach has paid off. By the time Serafina was just six weeks, Russo had already received three messages from interested men. Syrtash, a relationships writer, said she suspects they're are drawn to both Russo's drive to go after what she wants, as well as the high value she places on parenting.

Now, Russo is optimistic about dating as a solo parent — a term she prefers over "single mom by choice."

"I didn't really choose to be single, I didn't want to be single, I chose to have a baby solo," she said. "I hope to not be single for that long."