- Nikole Mitchell is a California-based OnlyFans creator and stripper.
- Mitchell told Insider her childhood in an Evangelical Christian community caused her to repress her sexuality and dreams to become a speaker and community leader.
When stripper and OnlyFans creator Nikole Mitchell finished her first-ever nude photo shoot, she got into her car alone and wept.
Two years earlier, she had decided to walk away from the Evangelical Christian values she lived with for most of her life, values that taught her that sexually open women were ungodly.
"I was devoted to becoming the best wife and mother there ever was. I became a homemaker, making everything from scratch, sewing clothes for my children, and trying so hard to be who I was told to be," Mitchell said.
But during that shoot, when Mitchell took off her shirt and then her pants, she never felt closer to God, she told Insider.
Mitchell said the rigidity of her religious upbringing was "toxic" and ultimately pushed her away from it and her family, who are still Evangelical Christians. As part of their religion, they believe only men can be religious leaders like pastors, she said.
Looking back, Mitchell said she repressed her sexuality due to the fear Christianity instilled in her. When she left home, exposed herself to other religions and types of people, and ended her 10-year marriage, Mitchell began to challenge her beliefs. Today, she's not religious at all, just spiritual, she told Insider.
Mitchell said she feels more like herself than ever before now that she lives as a queer woman, a divorced mother of three, and an OnlyFans content creator and stripper who makes a living by exploring her sexuality.
Her ex-husband and Bible school spurred her decision to leave Christianity
Mitchell met her husband while they were both living in Korea. She says he was her "gateway drug" to a more liberal albeit still religious lifestyle. He urged her to become a pastor at their non-Evangelical megachurch when they later moved to Florida together, which she did.
At first, the work felt "like an oasis to my soul," Mitchell said. She was passionate about speaking to her religious community on her own terms and as an equal to men. But her parents and siblings viewed her pastor role as an abomination because it went against their Evangelical beliefs. That scared her, Mitchell said.
"I was told I was sinning, I was violating God's word, and I was corrupting the design of men and women. I'm an embarrassment, you know. I was told to never mention my family because they taught me better than that," Mitchell said. It hurt that her family didn't want to be associated with her because of her decision to be a pastor, she said.
Compared to other women who did things like drugs and sex work, Mitchell saw herself as a good girl and wanted her parents to see that too. But they seemed to fixate on her sins, Mitchell said, so she decided to cut off contact. To this day, she hasn't introduced them to her children.
In seminary school in 2017, Mitchell said she began to fully "lose" her religion when she studied scripture with people from diverse religious backgrounds.
"I realized just how white-washed, male-centric, and hetero-centric my religion was," Mitchell said. Being a pastor once brought her fulfillment, but now she was starting to feel disingenuous while preaching her religion. She tried going to churches with a queer or non-white focus, but still felt disconnected from Christianity.
In 2019, Mitchell dropped out of seminary and moved to California with her husband and three children for a fresh start, and to pursue her dream of living there.
As an OnlyFans creator, she explored her sexuality and came out as queer
Instantly, Mitchell noticed a change of pace out West. She met women who seemed empowered by their individuality and sexuality, which made her feel like she was able to shed her Midwestern housewife persona and step into her risk-taking and exuberant personality. She started modeling, acting, and making erotic content on OnlyFans.
At first, Mitchell's husband supported her OnlyFans work, buying her lingerie and taking photos for her to post. She was always the more religious one, so she figured she had nothing to worry about. But five months after their move, his support came to a standstill when he said he had a drunken realization he needed more control in their marriage, or it wouldn't work. He said he needed her to give up modeling and acting to return to her previous duties as a stay-at-home wife.
"It totally hit me out of nowhere. I was shocked and horrified and I begged and I bawled," Mitchell told Insider.
Realizing they'd become completely incompatible partners, they got divorced in 2020 and Mitchell began what she refers to as her "slut phase." She went on dates and had her first orgasm at the hands of a partner, which she said made her sob. After that, she refused to sleep with men who couldn't make her come. She also explored her sexuality through her job as a sex worker.
Now Mitchell remembers feeling attracted to women as early as six, when she couldn't stop staring at Jennifer Connelly's breasts while she tried to unzip her too-tight dress in the 1991 movie "Rocketeer." But she didn't fully come to accept it until her mid-30s, after spending most of her life disconnected from her body.
"I've been queer since I was a teeny tiny girl. But because there was a lot of punishment in the environment I grew up in, I very quickly learned to shove it down and just be who they needed me to be," Mitchell said.
Becoming a sex worker helped her heal her relationship with her sexuality and her intuition, she said. Since making authentic OnlyFans content requires understanding your own limits, turn-ons, and fantasies, Mitchell said she had to explore that part of herself deeply.
In doing so, she had her first orgasm with another woman and made fellow queer sex workers climax while she performed oral sex on them. Mitchell, who used to have a deep fear of falling in love with an atheist, surprised herself with her fearlessness and openness to something completely new.
She wishes her family could accept her as she is, rather than seeing her as the "bad guy in their story." Still, Mitchell is happy with her religion-free life.
"I think the only gift it gave me was the gift of contrast. I feel like clarity comes from contrast," Mitchell said. "And that contrast gave me so much clarity about what was true and what was fear-based. I realized how much of my religious upbringing was rooted in fear and control, and all I want is love and freedom."