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A man with a large penis says he has a love-hate relationship with his member

Oct 7, 2023, 15:38 IST
Insider
Arantza Pena Popo/Insider
  • Jason, a 44-year-old with a large penis, says it's not as great as it sounds to be so well-endowed.
  • He said that his penis has made finding properly fitting clothes and underwear nearly impossible.
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Jason was waiting in a checkout line at his grocery store when he overheard the woman behind him, her voice filled with disgust.

"I can't believe you're aroused right now," she said. Jason turned, realizing she'd seen the print of his flaccid penis through his pants. Before he could say anything, the woman distanced herself, heading to another checkout lane.

Jason sighed. Since he was a teen, he'd received comments about his penis, which he's measured to be seven inches long and five inches thick when soft. When erect, Jason, who stands 6'1", says it's 10 inches long and 6.75 inches in girth, or about the size of most women's forearms. (The average size of an erect penis is 5.2 inches long, and 4.6 inches in girth.)

Over a few decades of trial and error, the now 44-year-old learned how to conceal his member in clothes, choose underwear that didn't feel distractingly constricting, and have partnered sex in ways his female partners found pleasurable, not painful. He's also had to dodge unwanted comments, both from strangers and ex-girlfriends, which have often made Jason feel like an object.

Jason, who asked to use his first name only for privacy reasons, told Insider he's navigated these problems largely on his own.

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"It's not something that people talk about the negative side of. There's this whole 'bigger and better' kind of mentality that everybody gets subjected to, and they don't want to hear some guy complaining about being too big," Jason told Insider.

If someone is overly well-endowed but doesn't have sexual dysfunction or chronic pain because of their size, there aren't any medical treatments available to improve their discomfort, Dr. Fenwa Milhouse, a Chicago-based urologist, told Insider.

Because of that, a situation like Jason's could feel extremely isolating and require personal acceptance more than anything else, Milhouse said.

Realizing his penis was a huge topic of conversation

Jason said he first realized he was bigger than most other men while in his high school locker room.

Glancing around during communal shower time, Jason said he would privately compare himself to his peers. And when a group of girls got a peek into the boys' locker room during that time, Jason said they quickly let the entire school know what they saw.

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As a teen, Jason said the attention felt fun and exciting. But in college, the attention no longer had the same thrill.

He recalled reading a sorority's secret document called the "Pyramid of Penis" on campus, which outlined each male student's penis size and other special skills, Jason said. Under his name, they had only included his penis size. Seeing that, Jason said he felt demeaned.

Being too well-endowed is rare, which can make it an isolating experience

With an issue like Jason's, there aren't many medical solutions, according to Milhouse.

She told Insider that she's never had a patient with Jason's particular complaints, and has only seen rare instances in scientific literature, typically related to underlying health conditions like sickle cell anemia, which can contribute to prolonged erections.

And urologists only perform surgery on a penis if there's a sexual performance issue or other organic functional problem, Milhouse said.

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Jason said that he didn't seek help from a doctor. But Milhouse said that if someone in his situation did, their doctor would likely have no course of treatment to offer.

Most clothes aren't roomy enough, so he gets inventive

Finding comfortable clothing for leisure and work has been a decades-long process, Jason said.

It wasn't much of an issue for him in high school, since popular clothing at the time featured baggier, roomier styles.

But when Jason graduated college and entered the workforce for the first time, he said he was extremely self-aware about how his bulge looked in business-casual clothes. To conceal it, Jason said he carried around a leather-bound portfolio folder, which he strategically held in front of his crotch until he started to feel more comfortable around his coworkers.

After doing some research, he learned that he could have his dress pants custom tailored to better accommodate his needs. Now, he has pants that have a bit of extra fabric sewn into them

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For underwear, Jason said he's still searching for the "perfect" pair that isn't too costly. He once bought a custom pair, which fit great, he said. But they were $60 for one pair, making them too pricey to be a sustainable option, Jason said.

"Boxers are pretty much a non-option, especially in shorts. I'll only wear those around the house and that's about it. And tighty whities are just too tight," Jason said.

He employs a sex strategy, including lube and the cowgirl position

Jason has also experimented with partnered sex over the years to ensure his partners enjoy when he penetrates them.

He said he's learned to take his time with foreplay to get his partners aroused. He also said he uses lube to prevent friction and pain during intercourse.

"I should probably buy stock in it at this point," Jason said.

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Certain sex positions are also better suited for his size, like cowgirl, since the woman on top can control how deeply she's penetrated, Jason said. He said doggy style is also a go-to position because "the woman's butt is basically a bumper and it can stop me from going deeper."

Fine-tuning his clothing choices and sex skills over the years has helped Jason feel more comfortable with his size. But growing in self-confidence has been the most beneficial for his relationship with his penis, he said.

Fifteen years ago, Jason said may have considered a penis-reduction procedure. But now, he has no interest at all, preferring to let judgmental people, like the woman at the grocery store, have their assumptions.

"It's a love-hate relationship. I enjoy being as large as I am, and at times it is frustrating. But I've learned to deal with it now," Jason said.

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