A man was overweight, depressed, and unhealthy. Doing a 'year of the opposite' changed everything.

• Travis Stoliker was struggling with grief, depression, and various health conditions.
• One day, he decided to make a change by getting up and making his bed.

At the start of 2022, Travis Stoliker felt worse than ever before.

The restaurant owner, who lives in Michigan, had been "completely neglecting" his health when, in the space of six months, three of his close friends unexpectedly died in their 40s.

Losing the first friend in February sent Stoliker into a deep pit of depression and grief. Stoliker, now 43, was overweight and taking lots of medication, his marriage was strained, and he woke up every day feeling sad, he told Insider.

So one day in March 2022, inspired by an episode of "Seinfeld," he decided simply to start doing the opposite of what he normally would for a year, in the hope of feeling better.

By the end of that year, Stoliker had lost 43 pounds, was taken off all medication, and felt better than ever, and is now sharing his story in the hope of inspiring others.

It all started with making his bed.

Grief led to depression

In February 2022, one of Stoliker's good friends, whose drinking he'd been worried about for a long time, died from a heart attack related to alcohol. In hindsight, he felt he should have spoken up.

"That experience left me with some guilt and struggling with grief and depression that I had never experienced before," Stoliker said.

"I knew objectively and logically that my life was amazing," he said. "I had tons of people around me that loved me, and I just kept waking up sad. Prior to this, I didn't really understand depression. I kind of thought people should just suck it up and get over it. And I was totally wrong."

As he tried to process his grief, Stoliker leant on his wife.

"I really put the burden on her to try to solve my grief, and that was just totally unfair and put strain on our marriage," Stoliker said.

Eating whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted

After selling his tech company in 2015, Stoliker — who has a family history of hypertension and high cholesterol — gained weight and developed high blood pressure, high triglycerides, high cholesterol, and prediabetes, which he took medication to manage.

Stoliker drank alcohol regularly — a glass of wine or Old Fashioned in the evening — smoked marijuana, and his diet consisted mostly of barbecued meats, pizza, chips, and ice cream, he said.

As his own boss, he would stay up late and sleep in until the afternoon every day.

"I never worked out, I ate very poorly," Stoliker said. "I ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted."

Making habits by starting small

When Stoliker decided to make a change in March 2022, he started small, by getting up early and making his bed. He had heard that just doing that can build self-confidence, and he was amazed to find it did.

"No matter what you've done for the day, you can come back to your bed and know you accomplished something," Stoliker said.

It inspired him to do more.

Eating more protein

Next, Stoliker tried habit stacking — the idea that new habits are easier to stick to if they're attached to an existing habit — starting with flossing after making his bed every morning.

A week later, he quit alcohol, marijuana, and soda, and started doing a seven-minute bodyweight workout from his Apple Watch every morning. It was easy to fit into his day wherever he was, and gradually he started running and weight lifting too.

The first week after quitting his vices was tough: At first, Stoliker struggled without anything to help him "turn off his brain," he said. But, hoping it would get easier, he stuck with it.

Changing his diet wasn't easy either, but he decided to be as disciplined as possible but not overly restrictive as he had been in the past, which he had found unsustainable — a hunch backed by research.

Stoliker didn't follow a specific diet or count calories, but intermittent fasted some days by waiting until the afternoon to eat, meaning he naturally ate less. He also ate a bit less overall, while trying to eat more protein, which helps with feeling full and in turn can reduce overeating, as well as fewer carbs and sugar. This meant he could still eat with his family and didn't need to avoid certain restaurants.

Experts previously told Insider that when it comes to fat loss, making small lifestyle changes and taking a gradual approach is more sustainable, making it easier to keep the weight off long-term — and this approach applies to building other healthy habits, too.

Feeling better than he had in years

Over time, Stoliker started journaling, tried meditation, and saw a therapist too. While he didn't find a therapist he clicked with, journaling became an extremely useful tool for keeping him focused and accountable.

"I felt like I was on the top of the world," Stoliker said. "I felt clear, I felt more motivated, I felt happier."

Stoliker's relationship with his wife improved, he became a more attentive father to his five-year-old son, and has begun volunteering for local causes too, he said.

"I would wake up and be ready to go," Stoliker, who was enjoying mornings for the first time, said. "I'd be excited to get out of bed. I had something to do."

Stoliker stuck with his new habits while grieving

In July of Stoliker's "year of the opposite," two more of his close friends, both in their 40s, suddenly died within 10 days of each other. Stoliker planned both their memorials.

Of course, he was grieving and in shock, while still struggling with depression — which can be hard to shake regardless of lifestyle changes. At times, he found himself in "fits of crying."

But Stoliker found strength in his new lifestyle, and he stuck with the "year of the opposite."

Losing 43 pounds in a year

Stoliker soon got hooked on challenging himself, including swimming across a lake, running a half-marathon, doing a 14-minute cold plunge, and holding his breath for 2 minutes and 44 seconds.

In October, Stoliker was cleared of all medical conditions by his doctor and told he could come off all medication.

He was thrilled, and his weight kept coming off too.

In February 2022, Stoliker weighed 221 pounds. By October 2023, he was down to 178.

Weight loss was never Stoliker's main goal but he knew he had "ballooned." After changing his diet and lifestyle, he was amazed by how quickly the pounds came off.

His mood is what really kept Stoliker consistent, though. Every night, he tracks different metrics, from whether he ate healthily or was a good father.

Since completing his "year of the opposite," Stoliker has kept up his new habits for the most part. On one occasion, he missed a workout which led to missing a few more and eating less healthily, Stoliker said.

After those few days, he woke up feeling sad again. Stoliker realized he hadn't been doing the things that made him happy and got right back to it.

"I can tell now with very strong correlation that when I do these things, when I am disciplined, it's much more likely that every day I'm going to wake up happy," Stoliker said.

By challenging himself to step out of his comfort zone, Stoliker's "year of the opposite" changed his life and got him through a very tough year.

"Through this journey, I overcame depression, transformed my health, and discovered newfound confidence and purpose," he said.