A man lost 100 pounds by ditching restrictive diets that left him miserable. He shared 2 key lessons he learned about fat loss.

• Benji Xavier, 28, lost 100 pounds by swapping fast food for healthier home-cooked meals.
• He lost 100 pounds in high school but gained it back because his methods were unsustainable.

Benji Xavier lost 100 pounds in just over a year by ditching fad diets. He's maintained his weight for almost two years by finding balance, including making healthier home-cooked meals and leading a more active lifestyle.

Xavier, 28, who is based in New Jersey, previously lost 100 pounds in high school by cutting his calories too low and quitting certain foods, but he put the weight back on in college. He told Business Insider his methods were "unsustainable" and left him with an unhealthy relationship with food.

His experience reflects how restrictive diets don't equal long-term weight loss. Almost a fifth of Americans were on diets on any given day between 2015 and 2018, according to the latest CDC data, and the US diet industry was estimated to be valued at over $70 billion in 2023. Yet more than 40% of Americans have obesity, according to US government data collected between 2017 and 2018.

Xavier said that when he tried restrictive diets like keto, he was having constant mental battles about food, what is known as "food noise," which can make dieting feel near impossible.

"As a person who loves eating, when you become so restrictive in hopes of losing weight or maintaining the weight off, you become obsessive with the food," Xavier said. "I felt miserable all the time."

In August 2021, Xavier went on vacation and struggled to find clothes that fit on a shopping trip. He weighed 282 pounds and said he felt "self-conscious the entire time."

It was then that he decided to embark on a second weight loss journey, but this time with his health and sustainability as the focus.

"My mindset started shifting because I'm like, I'm getting older, I need to be healthy. It isn't just about looks and being thin," he said.

Xavier started cooking healthier versions of his favorite meals at home, meal prepping, and working out regularly. Over time, these healthy habits became a new, sustainable lifestyle that has helped Xavier maintain his weight and feel better in all aspects of his life, he said. His upcoming cookbook, "The Rebel Diet," features recipes he used to lose weight.

He shared the two key lessons he learned on his weight loss journey.

Focus on little milestones

Xavier said that focusing on little goals and milestones helped him stay motivated, whereas fixating on the end goal led to overwhelm. This left him feeling discouraged when life got in the way, and he didn't achieve his goal as quickly as he had planned.

"If I were to sit here and think I need to lose 100 pounds, that's a lot. You don't want to do that," he said. "It takes time to achieve your goals, and you get there step by step, not all at once."

He added: "Just take it day by day, week by week."

Xavier found it helpful to focus on losing two pounds a week. This is in line with what the CDC recommends.

An all-or-nothing attitude is unhelpful

Previously, if Xavier dropped his healthy habits for a meal or two, he would feel intense guilt and worry that he'd ruined all of his progress. This meant he'd abandon his goal until the next day or week.

"It's like this vicious cycle that keeps repeating itself because of that all-or-nothing mentality,' he said.

Through his sustainable weight loss journey, he learned that if you do "fall off the wagon," or have a "cheat meal," not only will it not discount everything you achieved before, but it won't mean that you're suddenly going to gain all the weight back, he said.

He also now gives himself grace when he indulges in less healthy meals, because he knows that he eats a balanced diet the majority of the time, which is what matters.

This approach is sometimes called the 80/20 rule, and is endorsed by dietitians as a sustainable approach to both weight loss and overall health.