A dating coach reviewed a 38-year-old's Tinder profile and said he should add a full-body shot and more vulnerable descriptions
Julia Naftulin
- Aaron submitted his Tinder profile for review by an expert as part of Insider's Dating App Clinic.
- Expert Sara Tick suggested 38-year-old Aaron swap out all of his existing photos for more clear ones and balance his humorous prose with deeper bits.
Aaron, a 38-year-old using Tinder to date, submitted his profile for Insider's Dating App Clinic, a series where we ask experts how to revamp your dating profiles to increase your chances of finding a match.
Aaron said he's looking to date women. He's seeking someone who is funny and easy-going. He said his only deal breaker is someone who is "too into religion."
"My strengths are being funny, empathetic, and very laid back," Aaron told Insider. He said his ultimate goal is a long-term partnership that could potentially lead to marriage.
Aaron said he's unsure exactly what he wants to convey about himself in his dating profile, but does think he gets his sense of humor across well.
Sara Tick, a therapist founder of men's dating service Modern Meet, told Insider how Aaron could update his dating profile to increase his chances of finding a match.
Aaron's humor and quirky personality are clear thanks to his written bio, Tick said.
Right away, Tick could tell Aaron has a knack for being silly and playful. Still, Tick warned against a common mistake she sees with her male clients: Leaning too far into humor.
"I believe Aaron is likely a multifaceted individual with other interesting aspects of his personality," Tick said, adding that he should write about those sides of himself.
By adding more specific, vulnerable, and honest details to his profile, Aaron is more likely to draw a woman reading it in, according to Tick.
She suggested he answer the following prompts for himself to get inspiration for what to write:
- On most weekends, you'll find me...
- To me, the happiest place on earth is...
- If you also love [topic or item] we will get along well.
- To me, a perfect relationship involves…
Additionally, Aaron could write about about the qualities he wants in a partner and his passions, Tick said.
Tick also suggested Aaron revamp his photo selections to include clear shots that show his face, body, and hobbies.
Simple and candid photographs show a potential match what you're like in real life, Tick said.
She tells her clients to include between three and five quality shots in their dating profiles, no matter the app they use.
The photographs should be recent (within the last year or two is a good rule of thumb) so they accurately represent what you look like right now.
If you're unsure where to get started with your photos, dating profile photographer George Marin suggested spending a few hours with a trusted friend. Walk around your neighborhood, enjoy your favorite sport or craft, and have your friend snap non-posed shots that capture your personality, Marin said.
Tick said she tells all of her clients to go hat-free in dating profile photos, and thinks Aaron should too.
According to Tick, hats, sunglasses, and cluttered backgrounds can distract from the subject in the photo, which is the last thing you want to do when you're trying to nab a match.
Though Aaron's face is clear and his smile is bright here, Tick still suggested going hat-free in his main headshot.
Here, Tick suggested Aaron replace his existing photo with a full-body shot.
Right now, Aaron's photo choices are a bit blurry and have a casual vibe. But a crisp photo showing what he looks like dressed up could bring new life to his page, Tick said.
She said her clients will often recruit a friend to take these dressed-up photographs while they're attending a wedding or other formal event together. This way, you don't have to set aside extra time to put on your best suit, though you certainly can.
Tick also suggested the dressed-up shot be a full-body one, head to toe. She said she has each of her clients include one full-body shot and one clear headshot without hats or sunglasses in their profiles.
"This will allow potential matches to see his face clearly and get a better sense of his appearance," because if a potential match is left guessing what you look like now, they'll likely pass over you, Tick said.
Here, Aaron should consider replacing this humorous (and blurry) shot with one that shows another facet of his personality.
While scrolling through Aaron's profile, Tick realized he didn't share "authentic information about who he is and what he stands for."
Tick said she'd like to see more of that from Aaron because it could increase the compatibility of his potential matches.
"I highly encourage Aaron to carefully consider the type of woman he hopes to attract and express it clearly in his bio. By being transparent about his preferences, he can increase the likelihood of finding someone who resonates with his aspirations and sparks a genuine connection," Tick said.
Aaron's silly energy is apparent, and rounding it out with deeper insights could take his profile to the next level.
"In terms of personality traits, Aaron's current bio lacks any authentic information about who he is and what he stands for. He has plenty of room to add his non-negotiables, giving women insight into his deeper self," Tick said.
She said that it can be nerve-wracking to take a sincere approach to your profile when you want to come off a certain way to strangers online. But it's important to give a full picture of who you are if you want to find the right person for you and avoid feeling like you have to act a certain way to be accepted.
That's why Tick recommended Aaron give a small taste of his vulnerable side.
She said he should try apps like Hinge and Bumble, which offer built-in prompts that could get Aaron's creative juices flowing. Tick also said that, in her experience, Tinder skews a bit younger and more casual, so trying other platforms could help Aaron pinpoint the types of women that are right for him.
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