A dating coach reviewed a 26-year-old's Tinder profile and said his 'NATO' not attached to an outcome — approach is smart

From what Aaron shared about his dating goals — that he wants casual dates that could become something more, if the fit is right — it's clear that he has an intentional mindset that will serve him well, according to Ettin.

She said she generally refers to Aaron's strategy "NATO," or "not attached to an outcome," and said this mentality can benefit singles greatly.

"This means you can go on dates and not have a prescribed outcome like marriage that you feel beholden to. Rather, you can get to know the person as an individual and see how they fit into your life — if they do — versus back-filling them into some arbitrary future," Ettin told Insider.

According to Ettin, Aaron's honesty and specificity in his bio,

For example, she loved how Aaron mentioned his love of the game Magic: The Gathering, saying that showing off hobbies and quirks is a great way to get other singles' attention.

"Plus the joke about the shower was funny, since it dispels whatever stereotypes people have about those who play the game," Ettin said.

At the same time, Ettin said she'd make a few edits to Aaron's written bio. First, she'd nix the first line, where Aaron says he'll never bore his matches like other men might.

"You have one chance to make a first impression, so don't use it for something that's cliché and puts down others," Ettin said.

Rather, she suggested Aaron jump right into his unique qualities and interests, writing something like:

"Grad student and wannabe chef who likes both artsy adventures and Magic: The Gathering. Lifts all the weights to eat all the foods. Equal parts heavy metal and Taylor Swift (no shame). My job is serious, so the rest of life doesn't have to be."

Finally, Ettin said she'd remove the last line of Aaron's existing written bio, since saying "Best of luck" is unnecessary in this context.

"It's almost impossible in most group photos to tell whose profile it actually is," Ettin said.

She said that potential matches will rarely take the time to decipher who is who in your photographs, so taking the guess work out of the process can be helpful for landing more matches.

According to Ettin, it's best to avoid group photos altogether.

"I understand the desire to show that you have friends. But unless all of your photos are mirror selfies, which I do not recommend, then the assumption is that you have friends, or that someone took a photo for you," Ettin told Insider.

She suggested Aaron replace this photo with one that shows him enjoying a hobby or spending time at a location he loves, like a sporting event or brewery, for example.

Ettin said that many of Aaron's photos, like this one with his tongue out, may turn off potential matches.

She said that singles may use these photographs to seem playful, relaxed, or nonchalant, but they tend to have the opposite effect.

According to Ettin, Aaron should consider replacing this photo with a full-body shot, since he doesn't have one in his profile yet.

She said that Aaron seems like a happy and fun-loving man, but this photograph could lean too far into goofy territory and come off as inauthentic.

Plus, Aaron mentioned in his written bio that his hair is shorter now, so it'd serve him well to replace this photo with one that shows off his current look, according to Ettin.

She said that men often want to show off their physiques in their dating profiles, thinking it will attract more women.

While that can be the case, Ettin said she instructs her clients to post photos with a bit more intrigue.

"If you have muscles, that's great. But let your match be pleasantly surprised later when you've mutually decided to show each other. Trust me, with arms like that, he'll look equally as good in a fitted shirt," Ettin said.

Still, if Aaron is set on including this picture, he should stick with his gut, Ettin said.

Since Aaron mentioned his interest in casual dating, Ettin could see why Aaron opted for this tag.

But using a label like this could actually deter compatible matches, she said.

"'Short-term fun' is generally synonymous with no-strings attached sex," Ettin told Insider.

She suggested Aaron remove that tag altogether, or replace it with the one that says "Don't know yet."

Overall, Ettin said that Aaron did a good job showing off his personality and how he sees himself, and that a few small changes could make his profile stand out.

"These changes should help to both get more matches and hopefully generate some more substantive conversations that could then lead to dates," Ettin said.

She also said Aaron could consider Hinge if he wanted to venture onto another dating app.