A 72-year-old woman felt lonely after moving states — until she joined a dating app for cougars

• Kelly Howard, 72, uses a dating app to meet younger men.
• 10 to 20 men message her each week, wanting to chat or take her on a date.

Kelly Howard was feeling lonely after moving across the country from California to New Jersey in her 70s, thousands of miles from friends, family, and any boyfriends.

So when she watched a documentary about a woman in her eighties dating younger men, a preference that Howard shares, it sparked something in her

"If this woman could get company, why can't I?" thought Howard, whose real name Insider agreed to change for privacy reasons.

As she looked into what's known as age-gap dating, she stumbled across Cougar Life — an app that links up younger people with older women — and made a profile.

Fast forward five years, and each week Howard said she receives messages from 10 to 20 men, mostly in their 30s and 40s, featuring anything from a heart emoji, a comment on her beautiful smile, or blunt messages like: "Do you have any fetishes?"

A first date will normally involve a few cocktails, and she'll keep it casual — aside from the occasional hotel room rendezvous.

A few months back, Howard drove for an hour and a half to meet a younger guy who worked in the medical field. They had an instant connection and booked a hotel room.

"We spent the night together and that was it just like, 'oh my god,'" she said of the sweet, attentive guy with piercing blue eyes — while quickly adding that she doesn't usually sleep with men on the first date.

She may sound more like Carrie Bradshaw than your average 72-year-old, but Howard is not the only older person enjoying dating apps as much as someone half her age.

A Bumble spokesperson told Insider that a survey of 1,134 US adults by the dating app in March showed that 71% of Baby Boomer respondents, aged 59 to 77, were open to using dating apps to meet someone this year.

Isabella Mise, senior director of communications at Cougar Life, said that older people are embracing modern online dating, with 15% of female users on their app aged 50 plus.

"They're still looking for connection, love, physical intimacy, and I think online dating is perhaps a way for them to widen their dating pool," Mise said.

She said that as you get older, the dating pool gets smaller, particularly among social circles, and so it's sometimes necessary to use apps to open up the options — especially for people with specific preferences like dating younger.

Howard puts attractive men through tests to prove they're real

Howard has made meaningful connections with some of the men she's chatted with.

Her longest-running fling is with a financial advisor in his late 20s who lives in Vancouver. He's a five-hour flight away, so the pair have never met, but have been talking for five years.

His profile claiming he's a "generous lover — and not generous in a financial way," caught her eye. Along with photos showing how "unbelievably handsome" he was.

"This isn't real," she recalled thinking, and put him through various "tests" to prove he was — having him write his name on his shoulder and hold up an orange balloon in video calls.

Five years on, the pair have "spilled their guts" to each other.

Enclosed in the screens of their phones, a fantasy life plays out where the two of them are together. He pours out his heart and has even suggested they move in together.

But for now, their busy lives won't allow it, so Howard finds excitement in the fact they've never met.

"Younger men think of me as an equal"

Howard prefers to date younger men because they were brought up differently to men her age, she said. The older men come with baggage: they think they know everything and have to be the ones in charge, she said.

An old boyfriend from high school still messages her, she said. He's been married two or three times since then, but still says he wants to be with her.

"This is devotion," she said, but added that he's a stereotypical "macho" guy who is stuck in his ways and can't move out of the last century.

"Younger men don't have that attitude," she said. "It's very refreshing that they think of you as pretty much an equal."

Growing up, Howard was taught that "you were the wife and you're supposed to please the guy," so talking to these men feels like a rebellion to her: she gets to put herself first.