<p class="ingestion featured-caption">Shelby said her husband has never made her orgasm, but she doesn't want to end her marriage.Crystal Cox/Insider</p><ul class="summary-list"><li>Some women who cheat say their personal well-being improved once they stepped out, according to a 2022 study from German researchers.</li><li>Insider spoke with married women who cheated. They often said they had lackluster sex with their husbands.</li></ul><p>When Shelby cheated on her husband, she had her first orgasm ever.</p><p>The 54-year-old, who used a pseudonym to protect her identity, told Insider that her sexual pleasure felt like an afterthought to her husband, who she's been married to for 20 years. She <a href="https://www.insider.com/women-use-ashley-madison-christmas-affairs-have-no-regrets-2022-12" target="_blank" rel="noopener">grappled with cheating on him multiple times</a>, and finally did last Christmas when he decided to work a holiday shift instead of spending time with her, Shelby said.</p><p>Marriage dissatisfaction, like what Shelby cited as her reason for stepping out, is a common reason women cheat, according to a <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/09567976221116892">November 2022 study.</a> For the study, researchers followed 12,000 German people in relationships for 12 years, periodically checking in. They recorded 1,000 incidents of cheating over that time. When the researchers asked the people who cheated how it impacted their personal well-being in the long term, men said their well-being decreased, while women said having an affair improved their well-being overall. </p><p>According to the researchers, this could be because when women<strong style="color: #339966;"> </strong>tend to start affairs when they're highly dissatisfied in their relationships. They said that women initiating affairs "may be a wake-up call for their partners, leading to positive behavioral change."</p><p>Insider spoke with Shelby and other women who cheated on their spouses. To find affair partners, some of the women used <a href="https://www.insider.com/ashley-madison-affair-makes-cheating-wife-better-mom-2022-6" rel>Ashley Madison</a>, a website for people seeking affair partners, while one used Snapchat.</p><p>They explained why they decided to pursue sex outside of their marriages, like a lack of interest from their husbands, and how they did it without getting caught.</p>