- The pandemic can lead to short- and long-term mental and physical consequences for some kids.
- Pediatricians are supporting their own kids' resilience by getting outside and maintaining routines.
- Checking in on kids regularly and arranging both virtual and safe in-person socializing helps too.
In late March 2020, just weeks after initial lockdowns set in across the US, parents were already agonizing over how the pandemic would affect their kids' development. Would their personalities darken? Would they become clingy? Would their intellectual growth stall?
While experts back then said a few weeks of isolation wouldn't derail kids' social skills, we're now well past the three or four months of isolation that clinical psychologist Mary Alvord called "an abnormal situation."
Now, nearly a year later, parents' concerns are heightened, and well-founded.
One review of research, for instance, showed how pandemics are linked to depression and anxiety in kids. The current pandemic can also be considered a source of "adverse childhood experiences," the study authors wrote, or situations like abuse, neglect, and parental substance use that are associated with physical and
Pediatricians are also noticing developmentally abnormal weight gain in some children, as many are moving less, snacking more, and sleeping irregularly.
Kids from low-income, Black, and Hispanic families are especially vulnerable to long-term consequences from the pandemic, particularly when it comes to academic setbacks.
But pediatricians say there are steps even burnt-out parents can take to support kids' natural resilience. Insider asked four of them with school-aged children what's working in their families.
Check in with your kids regularly
Dr. Candice Jones, a pediatrician in Orlando whose kids are 12 and four years old, said the pandemic has hit her older child hardest. Checking in with him regularly is key.
"I ask him, 'Are you OK? Are you feeling happy? Are you missing any particular thing about school?'" she told Insider. "And I just really see if there's anything else we can do to help out in those areas. Just staying connected and talking and feeling each other out is just so important."
Dr. Shilpa Patel, a pediatrician based in New Jersey, finds a similar strategy works for her daughters, even though as eighth and twelfth graders, they're self-sufficient. "I'm always trying to chit chat with them - 'How are things going? How was this? How was that?'" she said.
Get outside
Dr. Sara Bode, a primary care pediatrician at Nationwide Children's Hospital said her three kids are coping by going on hikes or playing football in the snow. "Being able to bear through that and get outside has really helped their emotional
Indeed, research suggests kids who play outside are smarter, happier, more attentive, and less anxious than those who more often play inside.
She and other pediatricians acknowledged, though, that their privilege allows them to support their families in ways others might not be able to. That's why their profession has been called on to remember the broader systems that may make it easier or harder for children to access the great outdoors and good nutrition.
"Pediatricians need to assess for food insecurity, access to healthy foods, opportunities for safe physical activity and are encouraged to connect families with community resources to help with financial, housing or food needs and plan together to reduce family stress and find ways to improve
Loosen up screen time limits, and consider some safe in-person socializing to balance it out
Bode's oldest child started high school this year, and even though he's going to school in person, it's still difficult to make friends with COVID-19 mitigation strategies in place. "He said 'Mom, it's really hard to meet anybody when you're both in masks and you're six feet apart,'" Bode said.
But there are ways to help keep kids' social muscles flexed at all ages.
Dr. Yolanda Evans, a pediatrician in Seattle, has three kids who've enjoyed virtual birthday parties, video music lessons, and video chats with friends monthly. They've also gone on physically distanced playdates with masks at a local park.
Jones, too, has relaxed screen time limits so her son, who loves gaming, can play with his cousin in another state and friends from school he hasn't seen in person. Other friends her kids have seen in person.
"We've been doing some very small play dates, just one or two friends or families that are also being safe, kind of a pod like situation," she said.
Try to stick to a consistent schedule
One study found that kids who partake in daily family rituals, like eating dinner or reading together, tend to be emotionally healthier and better socially adjusted than kids with more unpredictable daily lives. The added anxiety of the pandemic makes routines, and their calming nature, particularly important for kids.
Evans recommends a consistent bedtime routine, including turning off all electronics, brushing teeth, and reading at least one book before tucking kids in.
Gratitude is also a part of their routine. "We've incorporated stating three things we enjoyed during the day and at least one thing we're looking forward to doing tomorrow before we go to sleep," Evans said.
Giving kids 'choices within limits' can improve both kids and parents' well-being too
Letting kids choose which cereal to eat, where to do homework, or how to best dress for the weather can lead to positive well-being for both them and their parents during the pandemic, a January study suggests.
When parents give their kids so-called "choices within limits" like that - as opposed to making demands or letting them do whatever they want - they're likely to feel like their needs are being met, which at the same time prompted them to continue
Over time, kids raised under this parenting style become more independent, confident, empathetic, resilient, and intrinsically motivated, research suggests.
"Giving them choices [means] kids are coping better, it means that they're more behaviorally regulated, they're less emotional," Roseann Capanna-Hodge, a school psychologist in Connecticut who was not involved in the research, previously told Insider. "And so then that's just going to reduce the stress at home, and parents are going to be happier."
Take care of yourself
Experts say one of the most important things is to have loving, supportive parents who are managing their own stress. Kids are "reacting to how the parents are responding to this pandemic more than they're reacting to the increase or decrease in activity level," clinical psychologist Jen Blair previously told Insider.
That's why it's critical for parents to follow the cliche of putting their own oxygen mask on first, Capanna-Hodge said. "Toddlers aren't going to feel our anxiety if we're not a hot mess ourselves," she said.
She recommended scheduling in your own exercise and trying not to put too much stress on yourself to replace all the kinds of interactions your kids experienced daily pre-coronavirus.
Ultimately, how children fare short- and long-term will vary. "Every child behaves differently and so, who knows? Some kids may take longer, some kids may take less time," Patel said. "There's no magic bullet."