- Using a condom is an easy way to dull sensation, delay ejaculation, and last longer during
sex . - You can also try the pause and squeeze method, which involves pulling out right before ejaculation and squeezing the tip of the penis until the need to ejaculate passes.
- Doing regular pelvic floor exercises is another way to make sex last longer.
- This article was medically reviewed by Arik V. Marcell, MD, MPH, Associate Professor of Pediatrics, Adolescent Medicine Physician, Johns Hopkins Children's Center and University.
If you are worried that you finish too quickly in bed, you are not alone – around 1 in 3 men in the US report having issues with premature ejaculation. It's unclear why this happens, but scientists think it's a combination of psychological and biological factors.
If you aren't able to have sex for as long as you would like, there are several strategies that can help
How long does the average person last during sex?
The adult film industry often depicts sex going on for hours, which can give a false idea of how long sex should last, says Jamin Brahmbhatt, MD, a urologist at the PUR clinic.
According to a 2005 study conducted across 5 countries, vaginal sex generally lasts for around 5 to 6 minutes.
However, there's no correct amount of time for sex to last and it's up to you and your partner to decide what works best.
Why you might not be lasting as long as you want to
It's common for men to finish too quickly once in a while, but if you nearly always ejaculate after less than a minute of sex, you may be diagnosed with premature ejaculation.
- Psychology: Though the exact cause is not well known, "there are definitely psychological aspects to premature ejaculation," Brahmbhatt says. Studies show that anxiety, particularly anxiety about your sexual performance, is linked to premature ejaculation. Feeling depressed, stressed out, or guilty can also make you more likely to finish quickly. Men may also experience premature ejaculation at higher rates if they have poor body image or are victims of sexual abuse.
- Experience: Your level of sexual experience can also affect how long you last in bed. "Men may also climax faster if they are not having sex often or this is their first time engaging in any sexual activity," Brahmbatt says.
- High amounts of free testosterone: Studies show that men with premature ejaculation tend to have higher levels of free testosterone, which can lead to symptoms like loss of energy and low sex drive. . However, scientists say that more research is needed to determine why this is the case.
- Hyperthyroidism: Premature ejaculation can also be caused by hyperthyroidism, a condition in which the thyroid gland in your neck produces too much of a hormone called thyroxine. Researchers aren't sure why thyroid issues affect your sex stamina, but after being treated for hypothyroidism, men are much less likely to experience premature ejaculation.
How to last longer during sex
If you are struggling with finishing too early, here are a five things you can do that may help.
1. Condoms
Since premature ejaculation may be a result of hypersensitivity, using a condom is a simple solution that may make sex last longer. The condom forms a barrier around the penis that dulls sensation and may lead to delayed ejaculation.
2. The pause-squeeze method
The pause-squeeze method can be done while having sex or masturbating and involves:
- Having sex until you feel that you are about to ejaculate.
- Then, pulling out and squeezing the tip of your penis for several seconds, or until the need to ejaculate passes.
- And finally, continuing to have sex and repeating the technique as needed.
"They theory is you stop the flow, let the penis rest, and then go back at it to increase your time, Brahmbatt says."
Brahmbatt says that this can be one of the more difficult treatments for premature ejaculation because it takes a lot of self-control. Practicing repeatedly and communicating clearly with your partner may help ease the process.
Over time, you may be able to train your body to delay ejaculation without using the squeeze maneuver.
3. Pelvic floor exercises
Your pelvic floor muscles lie just below your prostate and your rectum and just like other muscles, they can be strengthened through exercise. Experts believe that if pelvic floor muscles are too weak, it may be harder for you to delay your ejaculation.
To flex your pelvic floor muscles, act as if you are trying to stop yourself from peeing or passing gas and feel which muscles move. To tone these muscles, you should follow these steps:
- Tighten the pelvic floor muscles – you can lie down or sit if this makes it easier.
- Hold the muscles taut for 3 seconds.
- Relax the muscles for 3 seconds.
- Repeat the exercise as many times as needed.
See here for a more comprehensive guide to kegel exercises for both men and women.
To get good results, you should try to do 3 sets of 10 repetitions each day.
If you are still struggling with finishing too early, your healthcare provider can help you or refer you to another expert healthcare provider, since there are also some medications or procedures that you might benefit from.
4. Numbing medications
Numbing medications use ingredients like lidocaine and prilocaine, which work by blocking the nerve signals that make you feel pleasure and pain. These medications generally come as creams or sprays and when they are applied to your penis, you will have decreased sensitivity, and are approved for use in premature ejaculation.
Numbing creams or sprays should be applied to the penis 20 to 30 minutes before sex. Because sexual pleasure will feel less intense, you may be able to delay your ejaculation.
There are some drawbacks to this method, however, as the medication can also decrease your partner's sensitivity to pleasure. "Make sure your partner knows you are using it — as a heads up and also to make sure they don't have a history or allergic reaction or problem with its use," Brahmbatt says.
5. Viagra
Though sildenafil (Viagra) is usually prescribed to treat people who have trouble keeping an erection, research shows that it can help with premature ejaculation as well.
A 2007 study found that Viagra worked well to delay ejaculation and was more effective than the stop-squeeze technique. At the end of the study, 87 percent of subjects using Viagra said they wanted to continue this treatment, compared with 45 percent of subjects using stop and squeeze.
Premature ejaculation is a common condition but it can cause difficulties in your sex life or relationships. If none of these methods work to help you last longer in bed, contact your doctor to help you come up with the most appropriate treatment plan.