3 signs your relationship has a lack of respect, according to a therapist

• In a relationship, it's normal to have arguments and unintentionally hurt each other's feelings.
• In a healthy dynamic, partners take responsibility for missteps and work to repair the connection.

No matter how much you love and care for your partner, your relationship is bound to have moments of conflict, miscommunication, and disconnection.

When couples who have healthy dynamics run into these uncomfortable or emotionally triggering situations, they often try to make things better. That might look like offering an apology or talking through how to handle similar situations in the future, according to Sanam Hafeez, a therapist with more than 15 years of experience.

But if one or both partners use manipulative tactics to prove themselves to the other person, it could signal a lack of respect in your relationship, Hafeez said.

"It's a defense mechanism. But when you take time, attention, or communication away from your partner, you leave them feeling defeated," Hafeez told Business Insider.

She shared three ways this can manifest in a relationship.

Giving the silent treatment

If you and your partner get into a heated disagreement and can't seem to see eye-to-eye on an issue, it's normal to feel frustrated, anxious, or angry.

But if one of you goes quiet until the other person agrees, or until you get your desired outcome without consideration for the other partner, it's a sign that respect is dwindling, according to Hafeez.

She said that it's one thing for a partner to feel overwhelmed during a conflict, to the point that they have trouble putting their thoughts into words. When this happens, they may need time to decompress before they can calmly share their concerns.

Giving a partner the silent treatment, on the other hand, can sow feelings of contempt and distrust in a relationship, said Hafeez.

"It's highly disrespectful. You're basically negating another person's existence and telling them, 'Watch it next time, or I will cut you off and you'll be basically a prisoner in our shared space,'" Hafeez told BI.

Consistently getting defensive during arguments

It's impossible to agree with someone about everything, your partner included. When you have these differences in opinion or desire, feelings of defensiveness might come up, Hafeez said.

Sometimes, these feelings can make it difficult for someone to hear where their partner is coming from when they don't agree, and they might push back or have difficulty hearing the other person out in the moment, Hafeez said.

While it's normal to have trouble with this from time to time, if someone constantly tells their partner they're wrong or brushes off their point of view, it could mean they're not respecting them, according to Hafeez.

She said this can be extra detrimental if a partner leads with defensiveness about the same topic of concern over and over again. This can happen with something as minor as splitting chores around the house, as well as bigger issues, like how someone communicates about their feelings.

"Then it starts to feel like your partner disregards your autonomy and your agency," Hafeez said.

No matter the topic, if someone finds themself in a pattern of fighting and then having a stalemate with their partner, it's a sign their dynamic isn't working, according to Hafeez.

Refusing to spend any time with friends and family

While it's unreasonable to expect someone to love all of their partner's friends and family members in the same ways they do, it's also fair to want them to make an effort with the people they care about.

If someone constantly rejects invitations to spend time with their partner's inner circle, it could mean that they aren't invested in getting to know their partner on a deeper level, Hafeez said.

She said that blanket refusal to make an effort in this way could signal disrespect since it suggests someone is unwilling to compromise with their partner.

According to Hafeez, it's essential that partners are honest with each other here. If someone doesn't particularly enjoy time with a partner's friend or family member, they could nicely explain that they're not their cup of tea, and that they only want to spend an hour or two with them.

This approach, rather than an outright refusal, is the respectful way to go, Hafeez said.