23andMe connected me with a half-brother I didn't know about. He made me realize I could pass a rare genetic mutation to my kids.

• Meghan Thomas found out that she was donor conceived on the same day she underwent IVF.
• She did 23andMe and wound up meeting a half brother who had the same health condition as her.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Meghan Thomas. It has been edited for length and clarity.

It took me so long to pluck up the courage to do the 23andMe that I'd bought, the at-home DNA kit had nearly expired.

I didn't feel emotionally ready until July 2022 — three years after my mom told me I was donor-conceived. She'd kept it secret for 37 years. She said that she hadn't wanted it to affect my memory of my dad, who'd died when I was only five.

She also felt shame, she said. I was conceived in 1982, three years after the birth of the world's first IVF baby. It was a new thing back then. Doctors told parents not to tell their kids about it.

I got my 23andMe results the same month that I did the test. I pressed the "connect" button. I saw that I had four half-siblings on my father's side.I used the app to connect with one of them, Andrew Robertson, who is three years older than me.

We exchanged phone numbers and texted. I mentioned that I was going to be in his home state of Colorado the following January. I shared that I wanted to go skiing towards the end of my trip. "I've never skied out west before," I wrote. "I had major surgery on both of my lungs and need time to acclimatize due to the elevation change," I went on.

Andrew said, "Can I call you?" I replied, "Sure." The first thing he said was, "Tell me about your lungs." I told him how one of my lungs collapsed when I was 16 and the other collapsed eight years later. I'd had staples put in — hopefully to prevent it from happening again.

He was quiet for a moment. Then he said, "My lung collapsed when I was 17 and the other collapsed a year later." I gasped. I'd never looked at the medical condition — known as primary spontaneous pneumothorax— as a genetic thing. So I Googled the FLCN gene that you can have tested for the abnormality.

Andrew told me that he'd been worried about passing down the condition to his children. His words struck close to home. My husband, Ian Renfrew, and I were trying for a baby via IVF. I knew that I needed to be tested for the mutation.

I've been in poor health since my teens. The doctors were puzzled when the first of my lungs collapsed in 1999. The problem was a lot more common in tall, athletic young men, they said. My back and shoulders were in agony. I could barely breathe since my lung was the size of a grape.

The pleurodesis and staple surgery protected my right lung. But my left lung collapsed in 2004 and I had the same procedure. I remember the doctor asking if anyone else in the family had lung issues. I'm pretty sure Mom was in the room, but she didn't say anything about sperm donation.

My situation was exacerbated by a series of stomach complications. I had surgery on my bowel in 2005. I manage my symptoms, mostly through diet. However, my fertility doctor has wondered if my problems conceiving could be connected to having scar tissue from the bowel operation.

Ian and I decided to try for a baby around 2016. But we were unsuccessful and started IVF. I had my egg retrieval in June 2019. Mom helped pay for the treatment. She knows how she can take care of me in a way that is remarkable. Ian drove me to the clinic and Mom drove me home.

I don't hold it against my mom that she didn't tell me I was donor-conceived for so many years

I was in the car — still in a fog from the anesthesia — when she said, "Meg, your dad and I also struggled to conceive." She said they'd done IUI. I later discovered that they'd used donor sperm. I'd never had the thought that my dad wasn't my biological dad until that moment. I think part of it came from losing him when I was so young. I did whatever I could to stay connected to him. Little things were always tied to him. My aunt would say jokey things like, "You know you love cheese? You must be a Thomas." I kept my maiden name when I got married in 2010.

I don't blame my mom for not telling me for so long that I was donor-conceived. It would have been good to have known the background in terms of my health. But I'm not resentful at all. Unlike now, people didn't talk about fertility treatments when I was growing up.

As for Ian and I, we've had a total of three embryos transferred. None has resulted in pregnancy. Now that I'm 39, we're planning another retrieval. I'm about to be tested for the FLCN gene mutation. It will help me make decisions about our next steps. Hopefully we can expand our family soon.

Still, it's gotten bigger already. I'm close to Andrew and have stayed with him and his family in Colorado. Thankfully, he no longer experience discomfort in his lungs. Mine still bother me in connection with my menstrual cycle. It doesn't affect my job as a fertility coach. I'm OK. I just need to be careful about high altitudes and I'm not allowed to scuba dive.

Meanwhile, I've connected with two of my other three half-siblings. It's cool how my IVF journey unlocked the secrets of my genetics and my health.

Do you have a powerful story to share with Insider? Please send details to jridley@insider.com.