2 ways to improve intimacy when you and your partner have different sex drives, according to a sex researcher

• 1 in 4 coupled-up folks say they've experienced mismatched libidos with their partner in the past year, as per one survey.
• Sex researcher Justin Lehmiller said it's a common problem. Couples should work together to solve it, he said.

If your sex life has dwindled in recent months or years, you're not alone.

According to an April 2020 survey from the Kinsey Institute, which looked at the sexual behaviors of of 1,559 US adults, almost half of them reported having less sex since the pandemic began.

If you think your relationship lacks sex due to mismatched libidos, there could be a solve. You don't have to table sexual intimacy until your sex drive syncs with your partner's, sex researcher and "Sex and Psychology" podcast host Justin Lehmiller recently wrote for Psychology Today.

Instead, he suggested partners with different libidos improve their communication, like sharing desires and turn-ons, and scheduling time to have sex.

Be explicit about your sexual needs, including what gets you in the mood

According to Lehmiller, when one partner has a lower sex drive than their counterpart, it can often lead to feelings of shame for the low-libido person. When this happens, couples are less likely to resolve the issue, he said.

That's why Lehmiller suggested thinking of mismatched libidos as a couples' issue, rather than an individual one.

Have a conversation with your partner about the factors that could be dampening your sex drive. Work stress, performance anxiety, family responsibilities, and health-related issues can all contribute to a lack of desire, Insider previously reported.

In addition to creating a plan with your partner to reduce stressors, Lehmiller said you should pinpoint the factors that get you in a sexy mood.

"It's normal to not want sex that isn't meeting your needs—but if you can improve the quality of the sex you're having, that can help stimulate the desire for more," Lehmiller wrote on the Psychology Today website.

To do this, take mental or physical note of what turns you on, sex therapist and "So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex" author Ian Kerner previously told Insider.

According to Kerner, focusing on pleasure-related activities that don't involve an orgasm, like making out or sharing your sexual fantasies with a partner, can help.

"It's about blocking out everything else and becoming centrally and erotically present and focused. So we need to get absorbed, and that's a process," Kerner previously told Insider.

Replace spontaneous sex with scheduled sex

Though spontaneous sex sounds ideal, planning ahead for sex can actually make the experience better for both partners, Lehmiller said.

"When sex is on the schedule, we can plan the rest of our lives around it so that we have less interference and fewer distractions," he wrote.

According to Lehmiller, scheduling sex also allows time for you and your partner to get turned on as you anticipate your upcoming rendezvous.