We tried loaded fries from major fast-food chains to see who does it best - and the winner is shocking

On the plus side, they do manage to retain heat for a fair amount of time. But they do not live up to the storied Baconator name, for all its grease and glory. There's nothing to temper the extreme richness of cheese and bacon — at least a Baconator has ketchup.

Shake Shack's cheese fries are decadent at best and wanton at worst. The cheese tastes like a fancy version of that nacho cheese that comes out of a pump — that's a good thing in this instance. It's velvety smooth, rich, and kind of buttery.

Once poured, however, the cheese loses heat faster than a new Taylor Swift single. It coagulates into a less-than-appetizing, lukewarm, cheesy sludge with the consistency and hold of spackle. Let's not put on airs — it's still liquid cheese on top of french fries, so I'll still eat it.

The chili cheese fries are much soggier, but they have much more going on than the Baconator fries. Bacon and cheese can only get so far — and with the stewy, tomato-based chili, you tangentially get that necessary acidic note to cut through the cheese. Plus, the ground beef in the chili is pretty good, too. I like the combo of beef and fries — it just sits right with my soul.

And while this may sound — and assuredly is — completely absurd, it almost feels healthy because beans are in the equation. Just barely. Please allow me my blissful ignorance as I chow down on a heap of soggy cheesy chili fries.

The better-burger chain's bacon fries are even more messily opulent. The main issue with Shake Shack's loaded fries is this: they don't travel well in the slightest. They're best enjoyed fresh and at the restaurant; the to-go option means cheese in a cup and rapidly cooling fries in the chain's poorly designed takeout bags.

But obviously, cheese fries with bacon are superior to cheese fries without bacon. And Shake Shack's bacon is no slouch — it's really thick applewood-smoked bacon that's equally as delicious crumbled.

A fork is 100% necessary here; this is essentially a curly fry casserole.

Bacon, liquid cheese, shredded cheese, and a ranch-like sauce are layered onto a massive tangle of curly fries. The topping saturation is a huge plus — often, loaded fries are just mounds of french fries with toppings plopped on top, leaving an arid bedrock of topping-less potato.

But here, attention is paid to the construction, making for a cheesy and bacon experience throughout. If anything, more fries are needed to balance out the huge amounts of cheese and sauce.

Taco Bell has done a fantastic job shoehorning french fries into its Tex-Mex theme, and the loaded fries are no different. The chain's new seasoned fries make for a great foundation on which to lay what are essentially nacho ingredients: cheese sauce, taco beef, diced tomatoes, and sour cream.

What I find most successful is that the fries are already seasoned, so they aren't just bland sticks of potato and topping coverage doesn't matter as much. That being said, the topping-to-french-fry ratio is well balanced. There's a tiny bit of spice, too, which is nice. If Wendy’s chili were spicier, the chili cheese fries would be more exciting, but alas. These are by far the most satisfying loaded fries of the bunch.