We ate at Ikea's food court - here's why it's one of the most underrated restaurant chains in the world

We decided on the $2 Swedish-American breakfast, which includes eggs, sausage, home fries, and Swedish pancakes with a side of lingonberry jam. We also grabbed two pastries, and four drinks: coffee, chocolate milk, and two Swedish-inspired juice boxes. Notably, the coffee was just 75¢ with free refills. That could very well be one of the best caffeination deals in Brooklyn.

The eggs exceeded expectations. They are smooth, dense, and avoid being a watery mess as cafeteria eggs often are. Ikea falls short with the home fries, which are under seasoned — a dash of salt and pepper would go a long way. The sausages are on par with most diner side sausages: flavorful, but not memorable.

The star of the dish is the lingonberry jam, served with the Swedish pancakes — or as they say in France, crepes. The pancakes themselves are light, buttery, and thin, but they don't sparkle without the aid of the delicious jam. It brings a pleasant pucker to the palate and helps the whole meal punch above its $2 weight class.

The cinnamon bun fails to measure up to its peers, as it lacks the same satisfyingly gooey warmth that the likes of Cinnabon deliver. The cinnamon flavor was subtle at best, weak at worst.

And then, there's the traditional Swedish apple cake. It immediately brings to mind biting into a mealy apple. The texture is grainy and mushy, and the filling tastes of canned fruit.

Ikea sells two flavors of juice boxes: lingonberry and elderflower. Both are very sugary, as is expected of a juice box. But the elderflower flavor far eclipses the somewhat watered down lingonberry juice. The elderflower is delicate and distinct — a far cry from any American juice box. The lingonberry is like a watery cranberry juice. It's still decent (who among us would turn down a juice box?), but lacks the authentic Swedish... je ne sais quoi.

By lunchtime the restaurant is filled with shoppers and their progeny, so the lines are longer. The lunch menu provides more options than the breakfast menu, but the prices are still incredibly low.

In an effort to sample most of the menu, we ordered three meals, a sandwich, a side, and three desserts.

Cutting inside reveals a lovely filling of sweet diced apple, cranberries, and a creamy blend of Brie, cheddar, and mozzarella cheese. This chicken dodges the trap of sogginess with a crispy, breaded outer coating — not bad for $6.99.

However, the sides were less than spectacular. The mashed potatoes are adequate; the veggies fail to reach even that low bar. They're the same veggies that were slopped onto your tray in middle school, and the taste hasn't improved with age.

It tries — oh, does it try. It's nice to see Ikea bringing traditional Swedish fare to the table, but ultimately it's just a $6.99 piece of smoked fish. It's underwhelming. A better smoked salmon can be had at a local bagel store. The dill and mustard sauce is a classic pairing with salmon, but even that fails to bring this to the level of the stuffed chicken.

Also, no idea what is going on with the side salad. There are some kidney beans dumped on some dry greens; not impressed.

Ikea could have taken advice from any fast-food chain on this one. Without a well-matched bun, even the best of sandwiches can go awry — and this was not the best of sandwiches.

The bun was dry, crumbly, and inexplicably reminiscent of thick cardboard. It totally distracted from the rest of the sandwich, which was supposedly barbecue flavor. But we couldn't even detect a hint of the sauce beneath the stale wheat mass. For $4.99, it's best to skip.

For a mere $4.99, these are the best thing on the menu. What you see is what you get: plump, tender, and unabashedly Swedish. They deliver on the promise of a comforting and hearty meal perfect for Scandinavian nights by the fireside with the tundra winds howling outside. These delicious drops of beef and pork, lovingly blanketed in a salty cream sauce, are the essence of the Ikea restaurant experience.

The only blemish on this pleasant platter are the sides: the same tired veggies and so-so mashed potatoes.

While we believe everyone should be able to enjoy the Swedish ball experience regardless of dietary preferences, vegetarians should be the most angry of all Ikea diners for this travesty, which costs $1 as a side and $4.49 as a meal.

The flavor doesn't come close to the original. These dry, withered orbs are made with lentils, mushrooms, and other various vegetal items, and are dressed with a rich but simple stew. But the stew is not enough to save this desiccated version of the Swedish icon.

There is no fun in eating these. Where is the joy?

Sad!

From afar, they are impressive. But up close, this $7.99 rack collapses — and not from tenderness. Instead, we found ourselves recklessly hacking away at the sparse and dry meat. The sauce is sweet... almost too sweet. Yet again, Ikea has been bested by its own ambition.

These ribs flew too close to the Smila Sol, and have tumbled painfully back to sticky disgrace.

The almond cake is like a sophisticated Swedish Snickers — for nearly the same price, a mere $2. The milk chocolate top is rich, but not cloying. The nutty and nougaty layers beneath packed a dense but satisfying punch that kept coming back for another forkful.

This is not the dry cafeteria cake that one expects. Instead, multi-layered delight. There are several kinds of chocolate in play, intermingling to create a perfect dessert. It is near the Platonic ideal of the chocolate cake; well worth the $2.99 price tag.

The cake's outer beauty belies a surprising, nuanced interior. The thick, jelled outer shell holds back a light, fluffy, creamy core. A couple bites in, and we begin to detect a fruity note — there's strawberry jam spread between the cream and the thin shortbread base.

This surprisingly sophisticated sweet — at only $1.49 — is nearly as delicious as it is Instagram-able.

Directly past the checkout lies Ikea's bistro, serving much simpler fare — cinnamon rolls, hot dogs, pizza, frozen yogurt, and snacks. The smell of warm cinnamon rolls beckons to the shoppers trapped in the checkout line like a spicy, sticky siren's song. However, a warning for bewitched shoppers: the aroma trumps the truth.

After dining in the restaurant and sampling creative takes on Swedish cuisine, these patently American on-the-go meals are disappointing. The $1.75 pizza fails to measure up to delivery, with an under-sauced, frozen taste. The hot dog is a boring boiled dog — nothing special with this 75¢ frank.

Ikea's food and restaurant business alone raked in $1.76 billion in 2015 — and with over 328 stores in 43 countries, it certainly qualifies as a global restaurant chain. However, instead of serving up standard fast-food fare like its Costco counterpart, it strives to imbue its menu with the Swedish culinary tradition.

Sometimes the ambitions get the best of it, but you can't fault Ikea for trying. Some items fall short, such as the vegetarian balls and the suspect apple cake; however, the endless coffee bargain or the iconic meatballs are worth a trip themselves.

After all, as they say in Sweden: Alla vägar bär till Ikea — all roads lead to Ikea. And while you're there, you might as well treat yourself to one of the best bargains in the world.