I'm a retail worker whose coworkers and boss are out sick with COVID-19. The store is chaotic, messy, and stressful.

• A 22-year-old retail worker in Texas says three of their colleagues are out sick with COVID-19.
• They say it's really stressful in the store right now and worry about unmasked customers.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with a 22-year-old retail worker at a Texas make-up and cosmetics chain. They spoke on the condition of anonymity to protect their career, but Insider has verified their identity and employment. It has been edited for length and clarity.

The holidays are always a difficult time to work in retail, but with a pandemic still ravaging the country it's even harder than usual. I work at a Texas branch of a national make-up and cosmetic chain and as of this week, my boss and two of my colleagues are out with COVID-19.

My boss has been out for two weeks now and I didn't really notice at first because she had a sinus infection, so I thought that's why she was still out. But then she'd been gone for a while and I asked someone where she went, who told me she had COVID-19.

The next day, someone told me 2 of my other coworkers have COVID-19, too

I thought maybe they'd quit or something because a lot of people have been quitting lately. It's interesting because there haven't been any sort of announcements when someone tests positive for COVID-19. It seems like we should definitely be told if we've been exposed, but I think they're worried because if we all were exposed we might all have to quarantine.

And then what would happen? Would we have to shut down the store? It's almost like they're keeping it hush-hush, but then if you ask directly about it you get a direct answer. The only protocol is that if you're exposed and you're vaccinated, you're still allowed to come to work. If you're exposed and you're unvaccinated, you have to get tested and can't come back to work until you've tested negative.

It's scary, but we all have bills to pay, so I've just kind of brushed it off.

This deep into the pandemic, I'm just desensitized to the whole situation

I don't even really feel anything about it. When I find out that someone has COVID-19, I don't even react.

If I had to estimate, only 25% of customers even wear a mask in the store since there's no mask mandate. Last year, I was really worried, but now that I'm vaccinated I feel safer even though a lot of customers are acting like there isn't even a pandemic. They're not wearing masks, they're trying facial products. Don't even get me started on people still trying the lipstick samples.

I haven't gotten my booster yet

I've been meaning to but it's hard because I work full time, and if I take time off I don't get paid because I'm hourly.

When I got the second dose of the vaccine, I was out for two days and that was a big chunk of my paycheck. I know I need to get the booster, but it's hard to schedule it around work and everything.

It's really stressful in the store right now

Not only is it the holiday season so we're incredibly busy, but we're also short-staffed because of so many of my colleagues being sick. We've brought in some seasonal workers, which has lightened the load a bit, but it's still pretty chaotic. Not only are lines long, but customers are irritated.

Recently, a customer tried to return something that was outside of our return policy and when the return was denied, she threw the item at my manager.

Things get messy, too — last month, a little kid smeared lipstick all over the floor and his mom didn't do anything about it. It's pretty intense right now.

I wash my hands whenever I can. As employees, we're required to wear our masks out on the floor and we sanitize as much as possible. But we can't force customers to wear their masks.

We don't even have a sign on our door like we used to that said it wasn't required to wear a mask but was recommended. Now, there's just nothing. People feel free to do whatever they want.

I wish people knew that retail workers are exhausted

Not only are we contending with the holiday season, but we're scared of getting sick. And we're filling the gaps left by coworkers who have gotten the virus.

I worked six days for 45 hours in one week recently because so many people called out. I usually do five days a week, averaging between 35 and 40 hours.

It's exhausting. I'm so tired. I'm scared of being at work with unmasked customers. I'm scared I'm going to catch COVID-19, but what can I do? I have to pay my bills and so do my coworkers, so we're going to keep showing up to work.