A woman says she was asked to tip for her massage before it even began — a sign tipping culture is 'out of control'

• A woman was asked to pay and tip her massage therapist before the service began.
• She said it made her uncomfortable and contributed to a wider issue of tipping fatigue.

A woman says she was asked to pay and tip her massage therapist before the service, an ordeal that left her feeling uncomfortable.

Taylor Stewart posted a TikTok last week where she described the experience.

She said it was unusual to be asked to pay upfront, but she was happy to.

But the next conversation, about tipping, took things too far, she said.

"I really don't consider myself to be a cheap person," she said in the video. "I'm more than happy to tip, but I feel like tipping nowadays is just getting out of control."

Americans are experiencing tipping fatigue. With the cost of living so high, and more services coming with the expectation of a tip, a heated debate has ensued about when and when not to leave extra cash.

People are getting sick of adding money on top of services that they never used to have to pay extra for, including at convenience stores, coffee shops, and even self-checkouts.

Stewart said she already expected to pay $80 for the hourlong massage, which she called a "more than fair" price.

She was happy to be charged before the service because she thought the venue, which was a small business, just wanted to ensure she paid. Then, the receptionist passed her a slip of paper to write her tip on.

"Now I'm standing there kind of wondering what's a fine, acceptable tip, because obviously when I go out to eat, it's a $15 or $20 bill," Stewart said.

"So I have no problem tipping 20% because I'm already only paying 20 bucks for the bill. But here I'm paying $80 as it is for the service."

Stewart ended up writing $5, hoping that would be fine.

"Hey, if I was a multimillionaire, I'd be happy to tip a thousand dollars," she said. "But it's like, I'm trying to kind of budget and I'm already paying for the service."

She said the staff member looked at the slip and asked, "Is that it?"

Stewart said she asked what she should be tipping, and the woman recommended $20-$30.

She said she then wanted to stick up for herself because she found the interaction "kind of rude."

She told the receptionist she wouldn't be tipping that much.

"She goes, well, the girls here work really hard," Stewart said. "And I said, oh, I'm not questioning that at all. I'm sure they do, but that's why I am already paying $80."

The receptionist then told her that the amount just covered the salon's rent.

"Then I'm like, well, respectfully, that's not my problem," Stewart said. "I am sorry if maybe your boss doesn't pay you guys enough. That's really unfortunate, but it shouldn't be up to me to make up for that."

Stewart said she then went into the room for the massage but she heard the receptionist speaking with her masseuse outside. They weren't speaking English, she said, but she had a feeling they were talking about her.

"Just a bad vibe, bad feeling," she said. "So I'm like, I'm going to leave."

Stewart said she gathered her belongings and started to leave the salon, deciding she would just get a refund from her credit card company.

But the receptionist then chased her out the door, asking her to come back. She even offered a discount, Stewart said.

"I'm like, well, no, that's fine. I'm fine with paying full price. I'm fine with leaving the tip. I'm not trying to pay less or anything," she said.

"I'm happy with paying the full price and the tip, but I just don't appreciate being made to feel bad for what I am able to tip right now."

Stewart said the receptionist then assured her they weren't talking about her, which she found strange. But she decided to go through with the massage anyway.

The masseuse did a good job, and so she added another $5 to her tip, totaling $10. But, she said, the whole time she was lying there, she was "overthinking" the situation.

"So I changed the tip to 10. Everything was good. Told them to have a good night. Everything was fine," she said. "But I left still just thinking to myself, was that kind of rude or am I a cheap person? I don't know."

People expressed their discomfort with Stewart's experience in the comments, saying tipping before a service was "crazy."

A study from 2020, published in the Journal of Service Research, found that customers really dislike tipping before they're served, and it makes them less likely to return to an establishment afterward.

"America is an absolute joke with its tipping culture," one commenter said. Another said: "You went in to relax and came out more stressed."

Several users said they couldn't understand how Americans seem to be required to pay for services twice. Others said it was important to stand up for yourself in these scenarios.

"It's the way tipping turned into a requirement rather than a reward for amazing service…" one person said.

"They tried to take advantage of someone who may look naive but isn't," wrote another. "Stand your ground."