AP
Rand Paul.
In what's become an annual tradition for Paul on the holiday popularized by "Seinfeld," Paul unloaded on his presidential rivals - both on the Democratic and Republican sides.
His first round early Wednesday morning, Paul took digs at real-estate mogul Donald Trump, retired neurosurgeon Ben Carson, Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Florida), and Democratic hopeful and Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vermont).
He started with - who else? - Trump, referencing his use of the word "schlonged" in a Hillary Clinton attack Monday:
Where to start but @realDonaldTrump. If u bring the Yiddish, know what it means. Guess that's more of a kvetch than a grievance #Festivus
- Dr. Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2015After the debates, @realDonaldTrump always trying to give us parting gifts of his made in China ties. Weird. #Festivus
- Dr. Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2015Next up was Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas):
My friend @tedcruz has still not pledged to issue exec order declaring Canadian "bacon" is not real bacon. Makes me suspicious. #Festivus
- Dr. Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2015He took a not-so-subtle swipe at Carson's soft-spoken nature:
I have no grievances against my fellow doc @RealBenCarson because I have not heard a word he has said in any debate. #Festivus
- Dr. Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2015Then, a shot at New Jersey Gov Chris Christie's fandom of the Dallas Cowboys:
I think I speak for all in NJ when I say @GovChristie I don't care how much $ u spend at Met Life, Cowboys fans should stay out. #Festivus
- Dr. Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2015Next up was Rubio, a fellow senator whose consistent absences from his day job have drawn scrutiny on the campaign trail:
to my absentee friend @marcorubio, I didn't put your $170k+ salary in my waste report today. But I could have #Festivus
- Dr. Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2015He paid "respectivus" to Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-South Carolina), who dropped out of the race on Monday:
I hereby retract grievance I was going to air about @GrahamBlog today. Respect for the recently departed #EarlyFestivusPresent #Festivus
- Dr. Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2015And dinged former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush's (R) speaking style:
.@JebBush is always trying to change the debate rules to allow extra time for awkward pauses in answers. Not gonna happen. #Festivus
- Dr. Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2015Finally, he didn't so much air a grievance against former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina as take a shot at Clinton's reported Democratic debate bathroom break:
.@CarlyFiorina has ZERO trouble making it back from commercial breaks @HillaryClinton. Just saying. #Festivus #waronwomensrooms
- Dr. Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2015And he told Sanders that he wasn't Santa Claus:
to my comrade @SenSanders: Unless you're Santa Claus, Socialism runs out of other people's money #Festivus
- Dr. Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2015