This article is a character assassination of Suresh Prabhu, the efficient Railway Minister

Yes, it’s that time of February we all used to look forward to until tragedy struck last year.

The time when we’ve managed to get over the afterglow (read: rejection and humiliation) of the most overrated event- Valentine’s Day and started looking forward to the country’s annual comedy event with hopes of laughing our heart out?

No, I’m not talking about the AIB Roast. (Did you not notice that I clearly mentioned the word ‘çomedy’?)

What I’m talking of instead is the Railway Budget.

Wait a second. I know what you’re thinking.

The Railway Budget is to the actual Budget what Uday Chopra is to Aditya Chopra- no one spares a moment to remember the former while the latter gets all the attention.

But, here’s the thing- the drab, boring nature of the Railway Budget was easily forgotten due to the efforts of the Railway Ministers who burnt many a midnight oil to ensure they put up a comic display worthy of the people in the largest democracy- the people whose taxes would fund the whims and fancies of these ministers.

But, this was until last year.

This was until our honourable Prime Minister Narendra Modi decided to appoint Suresh Prabhu as the Minister of Indian Railways. To acquaint you a little more how grave this crime is, let me infuriate you with this piece of information- Prabhu is regarded as one of the best performing ministers in Modi’s cabinet.

Yes, you read that right- ‘Best performing minister.’

Can someone please inform him that it is not even in his job description to perform? And, most importantly, has he learnt nothing from the greats- his predecessors?

It all started when Suresh Prabhu, the Minister of Railways didn’t name a train after his alleged girlfriend, who also happened to be the sister of one of the ministers in his cabinet, like Nitish Kumar once (allegedly) did.

I wonder if Prabhu has had the fortune of travelling by the Archana Express.

Maybe he would have if he wasn’t so busy taking the Railway Budget like it was an issue that affected the lives of millions of Indian citizens and instead taken tips from previous ministers like Mamata Banerjee and Lalu Prasad Yadav and just come do an improv comedy act.

Like Mamata Banerjee, he could’ve just thrown tantrums and threaten ministers who weren’t listening to him by telling them that ‘he would cut out the sops for their states if they didn’t listen to his speech.’

Infact, he could’ve done even better and just blame the House for goofing up the pronunciations like Banerjee famously did and claim that it was their shouting that affected her pronunciation.

And, frankly, the cherry on the cake would’ve been had Prabhu treated the announcement of the Railway Budget as an opportunity to show off how good his English speaking skills are like the great Lalu Prasad Yadav did. The Budget could present himself as long as he could praise himself and his self-defined achievements.

But, instead, Prabhu has forced us to pay attention to the Railway Budget, take it seriously and not wait for him to goof up or start a yelling match. He went as far as creating a Twitter account and instead of just using it to send Birthday wishes to fellow ministers or tweeting about his travels like Modi, he uses it to help and respond to queries. Can you believe that?

If Mamata Banerjee or Lalu Prasad Yadav would have been presenting the Budget tomorrow, they would have been thinking of how best to cause the most amount of drama so that people forget that the Budget was ever presented.

But not Prabhu. He’s busy chalking up one of the boldest Budget the Railways have seen till date and facing his challenges head on.
I know, what you’re thinking- what a waste.

And, at this point sirf Prabhu hi jaane kya hoga Indian Railways ka.

(Image: PIB)