140,000 kids had a parent or caregiver die from COVID. If we don't help them, America is going to end up with a lost generation.

• 140,000 children have lost a parent or caregiver during the COVID-19 crisis.
• Ignoring this and returning society to normal won't help these kids.
• Addressing the mental and physical health of these children will require real investments.
• Abdullah Shihipar is a contributing writer for Insider.

Nineteen mont​​hs ago, when the novel coronavirus first spread across America, three siblings in Sterling Heights, Michigan would have their lives changed forever.

The Ismael siblings, whose stories were covered in the Washington Post last year, became orphaned over the span of a few weeks, with their mother and father passing away from COVID-19. Not only did they have to grieve the loss of both of their parents, they had to take on the responsibilities of having to make a living and maintain a household in the midst of a pandemic.

More than a year later, five children in California were left orphaned after their mother and father died, once again within a span of a few weeks. Both parents were unvaccinated. Five more children were orphaned within the span of a few weeks in Virginia.

Unfortunately, children losing their parents has not been an uncommon occurrence during this pandemic. A study published by the CDC found that more than 140,000 children have lost a parent or caregiver to COVID during the pandemic thus far - that roughly translates to 1 in 500 American children. The majority of these children, about 65%, are members of racial and ethnic minority groups.

In order to allow children to grieve properly, we cannot pretend that the pandemic is over and that we can get back to our lives like nothing happened. That won't address the harm these children have experienced and might make their grieving process worse - making them feel isolated and alone.

A child's burden

Children have undergone a massive amount of trauma during the pandemic. The American Academy of Pediatrics, American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry and the Children's Hospital Association declared that there is a national emergency in children's mental health, pointing out a rise in emergency department visits for mental health reasons in 2020 for kids aged 5-11 and 12-17. Losing a parent as a child has been shown to cause PTSD, affect brain development, lead to anxiety and depression, and have impacts years after the death.

In addition to the emotional cost of losing a parent, there are financial and life changes made as well. Children may be sent to live with other relatives in another city, disrupting routines and friendships. Some older children or young adults may have to take on additional care-giving and bread-winning roles and as a result may have to drop out of high school or college to shoulder this burden.

Of course, the trauma of the pandemic extends beyond those who have lost a parent. As the CDC eviction moratorium is no longer in place and evictions continue across the country - and did even as the moratorium was in place - children are especially at risk, as households with children are more likely to struggle with paying rent and mortgages and thus having children has been found to be a risk factor for eviction. Evictions of course have negative mental and physical health impacts on caregivers and children alike. Related to this are the impacts of parental job loss - millions of jobs were lost during the pandemic and research shows that parental job loss has a negative impact on children's mental and physical health and the academic and educational outcomes of children. All of this disruption is on top of the impacts of physical isolation from friends and family, which we are all feeling.

But thus far, much of the discussion around kids during the pandemic have focused around two talking points; the fact that children are not "high risk" for COVID and the need to account for missed learning opportunities or what some have called "learning loss".

Conversations about mental health usually focus on the separation and isolation from school environments and completely ignore the trauma that children have endured due to personal loss of family members, of homes, and of cherished routines. Instead, a siloed focus on children's mental health tends to revolve around the school, as some activists are fighting to get children back in school buildings and get them unmasked and back to normal. Never mind that the virus will continue to have impacts on children as it continues to kill people across the country. These activists also ignore the plight of disabled and immunocompromised children, who have been forced to choose between their safety and interacting with other children at schools while vaccines are unavailable.

While the American Rescue Plan has allowed schools across the country to allocate funds for mental health, the use of these funds are at the school's discretion and also have to compete with other priorities like making schools safer through ventilation upgrades and funding for strategies to tackle the issue of "learning loss."

We We need to take steps to make sure that all children, including those who are immunocompromised and disabled, are able to safely participate in school by mandating vaccination for all children in schools when they become eligible. It means seriously tackling the pandemic through vaccinations, masks and testing so that more children don't end up with dead parents.

We need to ensure that every child has access to a culturally competent mental health counselor who is more concerned about their overall well-being than solely their academic progress - some districts have already allocated funding for mental health counselors. An over-focus on "learning loss" can be potentially harmful as it might result in children receiving more work and tests than they can cope with right now, and in some cases, can result in child protective services being called or parents being sent to court, if children are being kept home from school due to safety concerns.

We need empathetic imaginative solutions that address any deficiencies in learning outcomes while not further harming children's mental health. One thing teens are pushing for, for instance, is the ability for children to take mental health days, just like they would a sick day - this provision already exists in a handful of states. All of this of course requires designated funding.

There also needs to be an emphasis on expanding and continuing the temporary social programs that have kept people afloat during this pandemic. The child tax credit, which is credited with reducing child poverty, is set to expire at the end of this year and only a one year extension has been proposed. The US Department of Agriculture is offering free lunch to all students like they did last year, but no plans have been announced about extending the program.

Free community college has been axed from Biden's economic plan and the White House has been mum on cancelling student debt, but making college more affordable and getting rid of student debt would lessen the burden on young adults and teens who have taken on new caregiving responsibilities. With thousands of children losing primary caregivers, these programs are especially necessary.

With 140,000 children and counting having lost parents and caregivers, the nation's children have endured an unbearable level of trauma. By failing to control the pandemic, they have been failed by the nation. But steps can be taken to mitigate repair and mitigate further harm - Biden's Build Back Better plan must emphasize the mental and physical welfare of children.