- The DINK — double income, no kids — lifestyle is gaining more visibility in America.
- Tiffany Wasiuk expressed relief at finding a partner who shares her choice to live child-free.
When Tiffany Wasiuk, 42, heard from her now-husband on their first date that he never wanted children, she was ready to marry him.
"That was amazing that we actually met, and I found someone that never wanted children as well," she said. They were both shocked to find someone on the same page.
Wasiuk is part of a growing legion of DINKs — couples with double incomes and no kids — that has been gaining visibility in American pop culture, largely due to social media. Just look at the millions of views on videos about the perks of being DINKs.
As parenthood becomes more costly and difficult to sustain in a country without guaranteed paid leave or a village to help care for kids, economic mobility gets further out of reach, and overlapping climate and political crises mount, the idea of becoming a DINK is gaining traction. For some, it's one of the last avenues for achieving the American dream — financial stability, freedom, and an opportunity to retire on your own terms.
For Wasiuk, the path toward becoming a DINK has been long. She remembers receiving baby dolls when she was young and being unenthused by the idea of playing house and mom.
"I never wanted to play that role," she said. As a teenager, she took a babysitting course, and one bout of babysitting was so anxiety-provoking for her that she never did it again.
"I remember all my friends were discussing being mothers growing up and what they would name their children," she said. "I could never connect to those conversations." She never imagined herself being pregnant or having children — and worried that there was something wrong with her.
"Once I got to young adulthood in college, I realized I don't have to be a mom, I don't have to have children. This is OK. There are people out there that don't have to have this," she said. "But for the longest time, I did think there was something wrong with me because I didn't feel that regular societal norm."
These days, Wasiuk is a happy DINK in Virginia Beach, Virginia. She feels grateful to have found a partner on the same page. The lifestyle choice has also meant financial stability and preparedness that's become a hallmark of DINKs. After all, DINKs are emerging as a major financial force in the US: Surveyed DINKs' net worths outpace that of all other types of surveyed family structures, the most recent Survey of Consumer Finances found.
The lifestyle has also meant that Wasiuk, who has chronic health issues, doesn't need to balance that with taking care of a family — another aspect of DINKdom that's been a relief for those coming up against life's unexpected twists and turns.
Being a DINK means traveling and boating, but not complete social acceptance
Wasiuk works on the business side of the healthcare industry. A decade ago, she completed a master's degree while working. Her husband was always intent on saving for retirement at a young age, and she followed suit. They've been maxing out their investment accounts annually.
"We are doing so well in our portfolio. That is something that I'm really grateful for," she said. "And I know not having children has contributed largely to that expense."
Like many other DINKs, Wasiuk and her husband enjoy traveling. They go on nice trips twice a year and like all-inclusive resorts in the Caribbean.
Their dual-income lifestyle has meant they've made purchases their peers might not be able to: She bought a Corvette convertible, and they've bought a fishing boat and motor yacht. They recently sold the motor yacht after owning it for 12 years. All of that was possible because they don't have children and have been strategic about their money and savings.
"We live the boating lifestyle here in Virginia. We went and did that every weekend, and we were by far the youngest people at the marina," she said. "That was something that we've always wanted to do, and we got to do that in our 30s. Most people at the marina were already retired."
She doesn't take that for granted; Wasiuk said she's had pinch-me moments in reaction to what she's been able to do and is consistently grateful. Her parents also had a boat at the marina, and they were able to join Wasiuk and her husband for boating adventures.
"You couldn't ask for a better life. It was so phenomenal. So that's stuff that I'll always have, and we'll always carry with us. You can't buy that. That's priceless," she said.
While Wasiuk received a few stray comments from past coworkers about not having kids, she said it happened less and less as she got older. She said she's been blessed with a supportive friend network that doesn't question her choices. Her friends love their children and love to see photos of her adventures.
But, even so, she thinks societal perceptions around DINKs haven't changed very much — and if they have, it's been happening very slowly. Research on social attitudes toward DINKs and parents has found, in the words of researchers, that "parents strongly favored other parents, but child-free adults didn't necessarily favor other child-free adults." Polling also shows that responding millennials especially think people should pause on having kids due to the harm — environmental or otherwise — it causes. Even so, those millennials are still in the minority.
Wasiuk said there's an expectation that women should be mothers or wives or have jobs.
"I do have a job, but I may not have a job someday because of my serious chronic illnesses. So does that make me any less valuable to society? No. It's just American society right now," she said. "People do, I think, just look at us as selfish for not wanting kids. And I think in fact, in reality, we're so unselfish for making that decision for so many reasons. But our instinct in society is to call us selfish."
Are you a DINK who enjoys the lifestyle or wants it to be more accepted? Contact this reporter at jkaplan@businessinsider.com.