A Gen Xer who worked from home for 7 years wants to go back to the office to combat loneliness

• A Gen Xer is gearing up to return to the office after seven years working remotely.
• He said he's been feeling isolated and lonely at home as his kids get older.

Chris, a Gen Xer, is about to leave his remote position for what he hopes will be a hybrid job. His main reason for doing so: Loneliness.

Chris, who lives in the Toronto area, started working as an analyst for a health provider in 2008, and a few years later, his company started experimenting with remote work. By 2016, many people on his team were working fully remotely, with few people coming into the office.

"At first it was great. My kids were smaller and in school, so it was great not having to worry about what to do before daycare," Chris said. "When the bell rang, I'd go right over and pick them up or just be home when they came home."

Chris, whose identity is known to Insider, asked to just use his first name as he hasn't yet told everyone at his company he is leaving.

But now, his kids are older, and though they're still living at home, he doesn't see them nearly as much. He's found himself feeling isolated, as he has limited social contact with anyone outside of some colleagues remotely. He's hoping to return to the office in a hybrid role to rebuild connections and avoid feeling isolated.

"I find at the end of the day, I'm dying to get out of the house," Chris said. "I made the decision to leave my remote job — my last day is December 1 — and look for an in-office or hybrid job. I'm sure it will be a bit of a shock to the system at first, but I figure I'll adjust quickly, maybe make some new friends."

As more and more companies adopt a hybrid work environment, some employees are jumping at the opportunity to go back to an office, citing isolation and the desire for a routine. Remote work is still going strong, though for managers like Chris, having more regular contact with coworkers and establishing deeper connections may be the solution.

The still-strong remote work debate

Debate still lingers about whether in-person work is more productive than remote work, with some studies showing employees get more done in an office setting.

Chris said people's productivity in the office depends on what work they're doing, how the company operates, and what their role is. He said his company might be more productive if everyone was in the office, though the flexibility of remote work still is a plus for him. Working everyday at the office is not a "desirable lifestyle either," he said, adding that hybrid to him is "the best of both worlds."

"When everyone's at home, it takes a while to connect, and maybe that's just our company culture, but sometimes people's calendars are full, so I'll have to book a meeting for next week and just wait," Chris said. "Whereas if you were in the office, you could go up and say, can I talk to you for 10 minutes?"

From remote to hybrid

Chris said his remote work was flexible and allowed him to make time for family and home chores. His company wouldn't track when people logged in, meetings were not overbearing, and coworkers were good about maintaining relationships remotely.

He enjoyed not having to commute into the office everyday and work a rigid schedule, which he said allowed him to more easily take his kids to appointments and after-school activities. But with his kids grown and out of the house a lot more often, he's found himself lost on what to do without more regular contact.

"When you were working in the office everyday, it was so nice to come home, spend time at home, but now that I'm home all day, I finish work and it's like, now what do I do?" Chris said.

Chris said his desire to go back to the office is a major reason why he's leaving his company after over 15 years, as well as his aspirations for changing up his work. He hopes to take a month or two off but wants to find a hybrid job as an IT manager as soon as he can.

"I really worry about joining a company being remote and just not developing any kind of relationships or friendships," he said.

As a manager, Chris said he's seen new hires start remote and struggle to connect with coworkers, as well as spend much more time learning company processes and programs.

"They're not as able to have a side conversation or pull someone aside or go to their desk and say, can you tell me about this?" he said. "You'd have to book someone on a phone call, and it's hard to introduce yourself to people that you don't know over the phone."

Chris reiterated that younger workers may have an easier time than him maintaining communication virtually, but for him, the face-to-face interactions will help reduce his feelings of isolation.

"I want to be a manager again with direct reports and want to get to know and build a personal relationship with those people, as opposed to just being someone on a phone screen," Chris said. "To collaborate well, you need to get to know your team beyond just what they do, what their tasks are."

Have recently returned to the office or are planning to do so? Reach out to this reporter at nsheidlower@insider.com.