- I've only ever wanted one child and am happy with my decision.
- Having one child means our life is easier and cheaper.
"Are you having another one?" is the question every mother is asked after they've had their first child.
"No, I'm one and done," was, and continues to be, my answer. After you say it a few times, people usually get the hint.
I know that for many parents, having one child is not a choice; they would love to add to their family but cannot.
But for me, having one child has been perfect, and I don't regret it. My partner is also happy with our family of three and the life we've created together.
I know my limits
I've always thought that if I did have kids, I would just have one. And after having my daughter 7 years ago, the thought was cemented.
While my pregnancy went OK, giving birth is not an experience I want to repeat. Years on, I'm still recovering physically from issues brought upon by having a baby. With one child, I have the time to exercise and the money to invest in physiotherapy to get my body functioning properly so I can run around after my daughter.
I'm also aware of my parenting limitations. I could probably have another child, but I know I would feel overwhelmed, have less patience, and not be the calm and present mother I want to be.
Our life is easier
In many ways, having an only child is easier.
My partner, daughter, and I love traveling, and not only is it cheaper with just one child, but the logistics are also easier to plan. We all fit together nicely on just one row of a plane and in the back of a cab. We can squeeze into a hotel room or small Airbnb, and the three of us fit easily around a table for two in a café.
Participating in activities or weekend adventures, such as going to the theater, a sports game, or the zoo, is more straightforward and cheaper for our small family.
We also save money on things like the weekly grocery bill, school fees, and clothes. The extra money we have allows us to travel and do more things together, creating amazing experiences and memories.
Having siblings isn't a guarantee against loneliness
I know there are many arguments for having more children. They will play together, look after each other, and have a bond for life. Having more children also means extra help as you age, and they'll be there to sort out your house when you die.
These things are all true, but there are counterarguments to them, too.
Having siblings doesn't guarantee help with older parents or funeral arrangements. I've heard many examples of the responsibility falling to one child anyway due to different relationship dynamics, adult responsibilities, and families scattered across the globe.
I have a friend who doesn't have children, and her response to questions about aging and death is that they will pay to put arrangements in place. Similarly, we will put in plans to ensure not all of the burden falls on our daughter.
We get to play, too
I don't agree with the argument that you should have another child just so they have a playmate. My daughter is lucky to have cousins, family friends, sports teams, and schoolmates.
And we get the chance to play with her, too: reading, drawing Lego, puzzles, and board games. We also love cooking and gardening together.
We make a big effort to ensure she's surrounded by other kids and families, and that we get involved in lots of activities.
Having one child is more common now
Back when my parents had children, having two or more was seen as the normal thing to do. Nowadays, I feel less societal pressure to have another kid, and it's more common to see families like ours around.
For us, having an only child was a conscious decision and one that has made our lives easier, cheaper, but also incredibly fun and rewarding.