5 strategies any dual-income couple can use to manage their money

• Managing a dual-income household can be tough, as sometimes one partner makes more, or there may be different opinions on how money should be spent.
• Financial planner Marguerita Cheng says there are a few steps every couple with two incomes should take, and it starts with a conversation about money and your collective goals.
• Once you and your partner have a clear vision on what you want, you can start to plan your individual goals and how you use your incomes.

Relationships aren't easy, and managing two incomes can be just as hard.

In order to meet your goals — both collective money goals and individual goals — you'll have to start making sure that you and your partner are on the same page about your spending, saving, and plans.

Whether you regularly talk about money or are approaching it with your partner for the first time, there are a few key rules to follow.

1. Set up an effective way to talk about money

Talking about money with your partner may not come easily, but it's something you'll need to do to align your goals and create a financial plan that works for both of you. Some couples find "money dates" helpful as a way to sit down and talk finances, and others like a shared spreadsheet. While the way you talk about money is as unique as your relationship, the conversation has to happen for you to get on the same page.

"Sometimes when things are too vague, the silence is uncomfortable for people. And other times when things are too personal, that can be hard, too," says financial planner Marguerita Cheng of Blue Ocean Global Wealth in Gaithersburg, Maryland. In her sessions, she generally starts the conversation by asking about how each person in the relationship how they view money, what goals they have individually, then focusing on what goals they have collectively.

From her side of the desk, Cheng says it's important that both people are heard and included in the conversation. "Some people don't want to know all the details, but that doesn't mean they don't want to be included," she says. She says making sure that both partners have an equitable voice is key.

2. Have a common goal

It might be helpful to talk about goals and priorities, and see where you both overlap and where you differ. Then, you can start to make concrete plans for those agreed-upon goals, and make compromises on the different goals.

While often easier said than done, Cheng says that most people are able to make agreements. If not, a financial planner could be an objective opinion on the best path forward. "It's not that the financial planner is taking sides, our role is to show them why. Then, it's the clients that have to determine their priorities."

3. Know you can (and should) have individual goals, too

When both people are making money, not everything in a couple has to be done jointly, Cheng says. In her opinion, even married couples should continue to invest independently and have their own goals within the context of their relationship.

"I think when people know their part they're planning as a couple, but they still have their identity as an individual investor, that's okay," Cheng says. It's not only important to avoid conflict over how to invest and how to plan for the future, but it can also help both earners feel a sense of autonomy.

"I never make the one client who is aggressive [with their investments] more conservative to suit the conservative client. And I don't make the client who's conservative aggressive to suit the aggressive client," Cheng says. "Then you have two people who didn't get what they want. So the solution is to plan these goals as a couple with the understanding that each one is an individual investor."

4. If there's an income imbalance, address it

According to an Insider and Morning Consult survey, 88% of millennials in long-term relationships have some sort of financial imbalance. Of that 88%, 66% said that money caused stress in their relationship. If there's an imbalance, it's important that it's addressed.

Discussing how you can each cover expenses with your income is an important step to addressing it. Cheng suggests dividing expenses among your incomes proportionally if you like to keep your expenses and accounts separate.
"Maybe the higher-income-earning spouse pays the mortgage and a lower-earning spouse pays the utilities," she says.

No matter how large the disparity, both partners should have an equal opportunity to be included in the discussion and an equal chance to be involved in creating shared goals.

5. Know how to effectively use your 2 incomes

There's no one-size-fits-all solution for managing two incomes, Cheng says, but there are some general guidelines that work for most.

"Especially talking about rent or having or a mortgage, you want to make sure that you are not over-committing," Cheng says. Her rule of thumb is for couples making two incomes is, "don't rely on two incomes to cover your rent," she says. "Then you're not going to be able to go out and do the things that you want to do." It can also add more financial stress if one partner loses their job, or if costs like property taxes, insurance, or utility bills go up.

It's not possible for everyone to follow this rule, Cheng says. "In urban areas, costs of living can be high and you may not be able to get by on just one income for the rent." But, the closer you can stick to this rule, the better off you'll be for it.

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