5 common habits you didn't realize were embarrassing

“Any team that values consensus over candor is going to be underperforming,” Baran said. It’s OK to disagree with coworkers and friends, but how you express your differences matters.

Baran makes a distinction between personal conflict and constructive conflict. When you engage in personal conflict, the unspoken message is that there is something wrong with the other person (“I think you’re lazy and have nothing good to say”). In constructive conflict, you acknowledge the value of the other person’s perspective while expressing your differences (“I think you’re a good person and have things to contribute.”)

The same principle applies in personal relationships. In Baran’s experience, if you can add, “I love and respect you,” to a disagreement with a family member or spouse, you’ll often find the other person more receptive to your views. And you’re less likely to say something you’ll regret.

Maybe you think of yourself as an honest person, a real open book. But does the person in the cubicle next to you really want a play-by-play of your gall-bladder surgery? Your yoga buddy probably doesn’t want to hear every detail of last night’s argument with your boyfriend, especially since she’s heard it all before.

We don’t always notice when we’re oversharing, but others do. If you’re prone to oversharing, your friends and coworkers are probably giving you clues (or ducking into an empty office when they see you coming).

“When someone’s talking to us, oftentimes we’re just thinking about what we want to say next, versus truly listening when they talk,” Baran said. He encourages active listening and asking questions, rather than monopolizing the conversation.

As conversations about discrimination based on race and gender have become more prominent, it’s a good time to consider whether your actions display embarrassing assumptions about those who may come from a different background than you.

“We make ourselves look like jerks when we assume we know what someone means,” Baran said. This is particularly important when you interact with someone whose life experience might be quite unlike yours.

Baran suggests active listening, which means asking questions to make sure you understand before you respond.

If you’re the only person in your organization who sends emails filled with emojis, that’s probably embarrassing, not cute. “I think it’s very important for people to try to notice what other people are doing,” Baran said.

To help avoid embarrassment, he suggests following the Platinum Rule, a variation of the Golden Rule. The Golden Rule encourages us to treat others as we would like to be treated. The Platinum Rule, which Baran picked up from organizational psychologist Bill Gentry, says we should treat others as they would like to be treated.