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Marine veterans explain how the 'say-do gap' could be sabotaging your work relationships

Mar 16, 2017, 23:02 IST

Courtesy of Angie Morgan

"Leadership isn't what you expect from others, but what you demonstrate to those around you."

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That doozy of an insight comes from three US military veterans and leadership consultants, who recently published a book titled, "Spark: How to Lead Yourself and Others to Greater Success."

The authors - Angie Morgan, Courtney Lynch (both former Marines), and Sean Lynch, (former Air Force), of leadership development firm Lead Star - suggest that one way to set a solid example for others and earn their trust is to narrow your "say-do gap." It's "the space between your words and your actions."

Having a narrow (or nonexistent) say-do gap is a hallmark of a "Spark," the authors' term for people who inspire others and influence outcomes, no matter their title or rank on the corporate hierarchy.

The authors write:

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"What happens when you say at a meeting, 'I'll get this project done for you by Friday,' and then you get back to your desk and realize that you forgot about an all-day client meeting on Thursday?

"That's going to make it difficult to turn the project around by Friday, but a Spark wouldn't go back and try to reset expectations; instead, if you're a Spark, you make a Herculean effort to follow through on your commitment because your reputation is at stake."

I cringed when I read this passage, remembering those times when I'd told my coworkers or editors that a story would be in later than planned because I'd overextended myself. Not so Spark-y.

But doesn't every journalist ask for deadline extensions on occasion?

The authors' answer: It doesn't matter. They write:

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"Sometimes it's difficult to uphold high standards in a workplace where everyone else is comfortable with less-than-best expectations.

"It's true that in some work environments people become complacent about standards - they arrive to work whenever, they show up late for meetings, and they are too accepting of excuses for poor performance.

"As a Spark, you may find it difficult to set up and model a narrow say-do gap when no one else seems to notice or care.

Which comes back to the authors' definition of leadership. Forget that Bill in accounting hasn't submitted a report on time in a year - you need to meet the expectations you've set for yourself.

Because, ultimately, if you don't trust yourself to get your work done, you can't expect to earn anyone else's trust.

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