Steven John
The author, Steven John, on his wedding day.
- Marriage gets easier the more effort you put into it - your partner will almost always respond in kind.
- The way you relate to your spouse will change many times over the years of your marriage.
- Marriage connects you not only to your partner, but to their life, their family, their work, and beyond; be ready for all of that to become part of your life, too.
My wife and I met when we were teenagers. When we got married, I was a few weeks away from my 23rd birthday, and she was 21. Which, now with some 13 years of hindsight, seems pretty crazy to me, especially when I meet the typical American person in their early 20s. But it worked!
Now in our mid 30s - and with two kids, two cars, a roof leak I need to repair, and the oven seeming like it needs replacement - I'd say she and I have this marriage thing down pretty well.
It's not always easy being married, even 15 years or so in. We're human beings, and human beings often don't make things easy for one another. (For the record, I'm primarily talking about myself here.)
There's no magic formula for the perfect marriage, but I can offer you some words of wisdom that I wish someone had told me before I got married.