It’s Lonely at the Top: 3 Ways to Address Executive Isolation

We all know the metaphorical image of a CEO standing proudly atop a mountain, having risen to the pinnacle of success. The reality is that mountaintop can feel pretty isolated, even with co-workers just outside your office door.

A survey by RHR International found that half of CEOs report experiencing feelings of loneliness in their role. Of this group, 61 percent believe isolation hinders their performance. That’s a significant proportion of top executives who are suffering and not performing at their peak.

In my experience, the two main causes of this kind of isolation are fear and ego. On the one hand, there’s fear of appearing inadequate and that asking for help could make others doubt your judgement. Meanwhile, your ego tells you that you really don’t need others to help make big decisions — who knows your business better than you do? Combined, these two factors can prevent even highly capable CEOs from turning to others for much needed support.

When times are good, you may not notice this. It’s when a business faces real struggles that the risks and consequences of loneliness come into play. In the 2008-2009 crisis, my business was in desperate shape and everyone was looking to me for answers. I could feel the walls of loneliness closing in.

Here are some steps I was able to take to overcome CEO loneliness:

Look to your network
One of the most revelatory things for me was realizing that I wasn’t alone in being alone. Lots of other CEOs were experiencing the same challenges and going through the same emotions. I just had to look outside of my own company and immediate circle to find them.

While there are no shortage of entrepreneur groups and resources available, for me, YPO has been the most valuable channel for connecting with peers. Like many other members, I meet regularly with my forum and we share challenges that we’re facing and speak frankly about how to tackle them. It was these individuals that I turned to back in 2009 when BuildDirect was on the brink of collapse. While it was scary to admit that my business might not be able to make payroll in a month’s time, just being able to say it out loud to others was enough to unlock the creative thinking needed to come up with a solution.

Embrace vulnerability
Vulnerability is all about inviting others into your world (however messy), which makes it a natural antidote to loneliness. The challenge is taking that first step and letting down your defenses. I’ve found that simply confiding in people from the get-go – trusting first and asking questions later – can dramatically accelerate ties with your team.

This isn’t a unique perspective on my part. Howard Schultz, CEO of Starbucks, has spoken previously about the importance of vulnerability and transparency when his company was struggling back in 2008. Instead of trying to become the lone savior of Starbucks, he helped his employees understand the challenges and empowered them to become part of the solution. While you never know what kind of response you’ll get, in my experience the benefits far outweigh the risks.

Lean in to gratitude
Studies have found that gratitude leads directly to higher levels of perceived social support, and lower levels of stress and depression. When I think about how fortunate I am in terms of having a loving family, good health and the ability to make positive contributions to the world, it’s hard to get too bogged down in despair or loneliness.

It can be hard to maintain this perspective, but I find I am able to by focusing on routine and repetition. This means actively carving out time for friends and loved ones. For example, when I spend time with my family at our cabin, ensuring my attention is on enjoying each other’s company, never work. In the end, gratitude is almost like a muscle: it’s something you have to consciously exercise or else you lose it.

The media tends to embrace the “CEO as hero” mentality, shining the spotlight on business leaders only when things go really well or really poorly. For CEOs who judge their success by what the media says, this can add immense pressure and feed the problem of executive loneliness even more. But great CEOs know it’s never about them. It’s about the impact that their business has on others. Win or lose, knowing it’s not all about you, and never has been — can make all the difference.

(The article is authored by Jeff Booth, Cofounder and CEO of BuildDirect and a YPO member since 2005. Jeff will be speaking at the 2017 YPO EDGE conference, being held in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada)

(YPO is a global community of chief executives dedicated to becoming Better Leaders through Lifelong Learning and Idea ExchangeTM. The YPO platform provides more than 24,000 members in more than 130 countries. For more information, visit www.ypo.org.)