Americans over 65 separate at the highest rate in the US. This will change their retirement plans, but it doesn't have to ruin them.

• Americans over 65 now get divorced at the highest rate in the country.
• Those who experience a "gray divorce" can still retire comfortably by making vital life decisions.

Laura Stassi got divorced in her 50s. For the first time in 30 years, she was single. How do you date? How do you talk to your kids? How do you manage your money?

Stassi, the author of "Romance Redux: Finding Love in Your Later Years," realized that she wasn't alone in her "gray divorce," aka divorce for those 50 and older. This age cohort makes up over a third of divorces in the US — Americans over 65 now get divorced at the highest rate in the country.

When Stassi started talking to other gray divorcees for her podcast, "Dating While Gray," she discovered that her cohort opened up about most things – well, except for one.

"A lot of people would rather talk about sex than about money!" Stassi told Insider.

But with retirement around the corner for many gray divorcees, they can't afford not to talk about money.

How do you financially prepare for the next 25 years?

The CDC's 2021 Provisional Life Expectancy Estimates say that the average American lives until they're 76 years old — but you could live for much longer. So if you're getting divorced at 50, you could have at least 26 more years ahead of you.

"What do the next 25 years look like for you?" said Michael Ritz, an associate at financial planning firm Lenox Advisors. "Look at your assets, and what do you think you can live on for the next 25 plus years?"

Divorce of any kind means that you could have only half of those assets: your home, your 401(k), your IRAs, your pension, even your life insurance policy. You may have had a solid retirement plan with two incomes and a shared home, but what does having half of that mean for you?

Ritz recommends that gray divorcees begin with a focus on where they want to live for the next quarter of their life. Will you stay in the house? Are you going to sell the shared home and downsize into a condo in a smaller city? With the money you have after the divorce settlement, what can you afford?

"Budgeting and planning is really imperative, no matter where you are in the arc of life," Ritz said.

Spousal support plays a key role

After you do your budgeting, you might realize that you have to live with a lot less. According to a study in The Journals of Gerontology, women tend to see a 45% decline in their standard of living after a gray divorce; men see a 21% decline.

That's why it's so important to advocate for yourself during divorce proceedings — particularly during spousal support negotiations, says Jacqueline Harounian, managing partner at family law firm Wisselman, Harounian and Associates.

Whether you're the one giving spousal support or receiving it, that number will make a huge difference in your financial future.

"Make decisions that are going to serve you long-term," Harounian said. "You have to make decisions about how to conserve your assets and make sure your income goes as far as possible."

This is truer for gray divorcees. Depending on your state, spousal support may not continue past the retirement age for Social Security, Harounian added.

For instance, in the state of New York, your spousal support may end at age 65, because that's when you can draw from your retirement accounts and receive full Social Security benefits. So if you get divorced at 60, you may only receive or give spousal support for five more years.

That's a short period of time, but it can make a huge dent on your nest egg for the next 10 or 20 years.

You may need to go back to work

During her 30-year marriage, Stassi worked part-time and freelanced while taking care of her kids and the home. But after her gray divorce, she needed to make more money. So she began to work full time.

Finding full-time work is essential for many after a gray divorce. That's not just for the money, but for the access to health insurance. Even if your divorce was amicable, you can't stay on your ex's health insurance, Harounian says. If you can't or don't want to work, affordable, state-sponsored healthcare is available.

Although Harounian sees some clients experience an identity crisis once they're on their own after a gray divorce, there's hope for a better future and a comfortable retirement. In many cases, going back to work — or just working more — creates a renewed sense of purpose.

"It's a fresh start," Stassi says. "That can be scary. However, it can also be an opportunity to make better decisions and continue looking out for yourself."