US veterans say watching the Taliban take over was heartbreaking, and it has some questioning what they fought for

• The Taliban has taken control of Afghanistan, where the army and government collapsed.
• US veterans of the long war have felt a range of emotions watching these events unfold.
• "You can't leave the way we left," a former US soldier told Insider. "We didn't fix anything."

Watching the Taliban retake control of Afghanistan after the US spent hundreds of billions of dollars and saw thousands of Americans killed or wounded over two decades of war has left some veterans asking whether their service and the sacrifices of their comrades were worth it.

There is no such thing as the one-veteran perspective because people experience conflict in their own way.

Four US military veterans who served in varying roles in different stages of the war in Afghanistan shared their experiences and observations with Insider over the past week, with some expressing frustration and others disappointment with recent developments.

'Looking back, it breaks my heart'

Adrian Bonenberger served as a US Army infantry officer and deployed twice to Afghanistan. When he left the war-torn country, in 2011, he was hopeful. Those hopes were dashed just days ago as a nationwide Taliban offensive reached the capital.

"After my first deployment, I was pretty negative about how things were going in Afghanistan," he said. "By the end of my second deployment, I was guardedly optimistic."

"It felt like something could be brought together," he recalled, explaining that he saw signs of progress, especially with the Afghan forces he saw starting to step up.

As cities were falling to the Taliban last week, Bonenberger said that it was "really hard" to watch, explaining that he believes "it's caused a lot of Afghan vets, a lot of Afghan hands like myself, to really question what we were doing there."

"Looking back," he said, "it breaks my heart seeing what's happening in Afghanistan and seeing ANSF incur losses, surrender, and suffer reverses," referring to the Afghan National Security Forces.

After Taliban insurgents took Kabul, he said that the US vision for Afghanistan was apparently embraced by only a few political leaders, while most were merely "waiting for the Taliban to return."

"My cap's off to the ANSF police and soldiers who put up a brave fight for the months they were in charge of defense and who were failed by their government," he said.

"Now, we ought to do whatever we can for the Afghans who bought into the self-deception for which we paid so much money," he said. "It's the least we can do for them."

'You can't leave the way we left'

Brian Eisch served as a US Army soldier who was shot three times in 2010 trying to save an Afghan partner outside Kunduz. He lost a leg as a result of his injuries.

"You can't leave the way we left. We didn't fix anything," Eisch said, arguing that "we basically put up a huge banner that said, 'Hey, Taliban people, we're leaving. Come back.'"

Talking to Insider before the complete collapse, he said that the Taliban did not hold up its end of the deal and that the US should have been willing to hold them accountable.

Watching the Taliban take over Kunduz in the country's northeast, Eisch said: "I look down at my prosthetic leg and go, 'What the hell? What was that for?' I think about … the three guys we lost in our battalion. It's, like, was it worth it? I don't know."

He said that when he was in Afghanistan, he felt like the US was making progress there. He said there were difficulties working with the Afghan forces, explaining that "they're just trying to survive" and that there were high levels of incompetence, but, overall, things appeared to be moving in a positive direction.

Asked now if he feels the US made a difference, Eisch said: "The hope is there. You remember the well you put in at the girls' school. You hope you do, but I don't know."

After the Taliban takeover, he lamented the widespread corruption in Afghanistan and told Insider that he's "starting to wonder if Afghanistan is one of those places that will always just be a cesspool of conflict."

'It is disheartening'

Tom Porter served in the Navy Reserve and deployed to Afghanistan in 2010 as a public affairs officer, where he worked with local and foreign media and contributed to the development of Afghan government media operations.

"Seeing all the progress over the years, it is disheartening," he said last week as the Taliban was quickly seizing control of the country, calling the speed at which the Taliban advanced "alarming."

He said it hit close when Taliban forces murdered the director of the Afghan government's media information center. He worked with one of his predecessors.

Reflecting on recent developments in Afghanistan, Porter said that "you're going to have lots of veterans that are going to take a renewed look at that - and they are doing that now - and wonder whether their service was worth it."

"Their service was worth it," he said, pointing to the educational and economic developments in Afghanistan. "Hopefully the Afghan people continue to press forward in the face of this increased challenge to their new way of life."

Porter said there will be time for after-action reviews, but for now the top priority is to "expeditiously evacuate all American personnel and the many thousands of Afghans who partnered with American forces over the last 20 years."

"They stood shoulder to shoulder with us and our NATO allies at their own personal risk," he stressed. "We need to keep our promises to them and get them to safety now."

'It was always going to happen'

Philip Grant served in the Army and deployed twice to Afghanistan, with the last deployment ending in 2008.

He said that working with the ANSF was a challenge, particularly because "their motive was really just to be able to survive."

"We were trying to teach them how we operate, and it was completely different from anything they'd experienced," Grant said. "It didn't really work over there."

He recalled seeing indications that the Afghans would adapt and cater to whoever was there, be it the Americans or the Taliban. Talking about the collapse, he said: "We all knew this was going to happen. The second we left, the Taliban would take over."

"It was always going to happen," Grant said.

Thinking about his own service, he said he did his job honorably, telling Insider that US troops did the best they could and that he is "sure we made a positive impact on a lot of people."

"What sucks the most is knowing that guys I served with died over there," Grant said. "I feel bad for the people too. But the part that sucks is knowing that people died that I served with and other guys that were serving their country, and now it's just not going to be of any benefit to anybody."