Unemployment diary: I'm a 55-year-old visitor services manager in Rhode Island who's been out of work since April

• The Unemployed States of America takes readers deep inside the decimated American workforce.
• Kara Theriault is a 55-year-old visitor services manager in Warwick, Rhode Island.
• She was furloughed from her job in April and permanently laid off in July, making this the first time in her life she's been unemployed since beginning to work at the age of 13.
• Theriault has been keeping busy volunteering for local nonprofits and meal delivery programs and trying to be optimistic and a positive role model for her young adult sons.
• This is her story, as told to Amber Gibson.

Before the pandemic, I worked for the Providence Warwick Convention and Visitors Bureau. I'd been there for four years, first as the director of finance and administration and then as visitor services manager.

It was just devastating when the pandemic hit, since the CVB is a not-for-profit and funded primarily by hotel taxes. As a private 501(c)(6), they didn't qualify for the Payroll Protection Program and were excluded from the loan forgiveness opportunity.

I was furloughed April 3 and it didn't come as a surprise to me, but at the same time it stung.

I won't sugarcoat it. I loved working with the CVB. I'd never been unemployed before in my life since I started washing dishes at 13. Even when you know it's coming and when you know it's out of your control and it's a pandemic, it's really hard. You feel defeated. You wonder, what did I do wrong? Could I have tried harder?

Our family of four is very lucky, though. We're all healthy. My husband has been able to keep working through this time and we get our health insurance through his company, so that continues to be an unbelievable blessing.

When I was furloughed, I filed for unemployment online and got my response within 24 hours.

The Rhode Island Department of Labor and Training diverted other resources to put people on the line to answer phone calls and emails. When I called them, it was like, oh my gosh, you picked up the phone! They've gone out of their way to answer any questions and simplify the process for folks. I know it sounds really hokey, but I'm a huge believer in thank you cards, and I sent them a thank you note.

I'm an eternal optimist, so I didn't start actively looking for a job until I was permanently laid off July 20. I was hopeful things might get better. I got recertified in my human resources certification and took some free online classes to keep up with the industry and stayed connected with my old CVB colleagues via social media.

Volunteer opportunities have been a lifeline for me during this time.

In April, I reached out to the nonprofit United Way and they put me in touch with Rhode Island Pride. I started helping them with emergency food and supply drives, and later we worked giving out water and snacks at some of the youth-led protests for Black Lives Matter.

Come June, I started working with Meals on Wheels. I absolutely love it and I treat it like it's my job. I get up in the morning, get dressed, show up, and go and visit these amazing people. I've gotten to know them. Not only are we delivering a meal, but we're that person's check-in for the day to make sure they're okay.

I also work with an organization called Want Cheer Flower Farm. We go to hospitals and healthcare centers and set up bouquets for healthcare workers to thank them for everything they do. You see on the news how exhausted individuals on the frontlines are, so finding a way to put a smile on their faces is inspiring.

I'm 50, so I've got another 15 or 20 years of a career ahead of me.

I'm trying to be thoughtful about what I want those years to look like. I'd love it if my next opportunity had something to do with the things I've discovered during this time, be that community relations, training, or diversity and inclusion.

It's important for me to try to be a role model for my sons, who are 17 and 21. I want to make sure that they know that sometimes something will knock you down. But you have to pull your shoulders back, put one foot in front of the other, and just keep going. It's all been humbling, but it's going to be okay. You just have to try to keep your self-esteem and your dignity.