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TikTokers say efficient daters should put romantic partners on a 90-day probationary period to see if they're a good fit

Apr 13, 2023, 10:33 IST
Insider
A couple enjoying drinks together.Alistair Berg/Getty Images
  • Dating gurus on TikTok recommend a new rule to weed out incompatible partners.
  • They call it the three-month rule, where people can evaluate potential partners for 90 days.
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TikTokers are recommending a new dating rule to weed out incompatible partners: A 90-day probation period.

The three-month rule prescribes that people should put potential partners through a trial period, during which the partner is evaluated on how good of a fit they are.

A TikToker with the username Manifestingbabe spelled out the three-month rule.

"Similar to a new job, where your employer is looking at your character, your work ethic, your skills, all within the first three months, basically the 90-day probation period, to make sure that you're a good fit for the company," she said in her TikTok, posted on December 14.

"View your dating life exactly the same way," she said.

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She also suggested to "go in with a list of deal-breakers, things that you will not accept" and to refrain from idealizing the person or hiking up expectations.

"Don't set these high expectations for these guys, whoever you're dating, and think that they're going to be the love of your life and you're gonna marry them," she added.

As of press time, her TikTok has been viewed 12,400 times, with most commenters agreeing with her 90-day rule.

Another TikToker, Jasmine, who goes by the handle Sirdoglord, suggests not being exclusive with a potential partner until the 90-day period has passed.

"If they find someone else that they like more than me and they want to be with that person exclusively, that's fine," she said in her TikTok, posted on September 27. "Because at the end of the day, I know what I'm bringing to the table. I know I'm a good partner, I know I'm a great catch."

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TikToker CanadasDatingCoach suggests going one step further and not being physically intimate with the person for 90 days.

"Use the no-kissing-for-3-months dating rule, read: No more assholes," she said in her TikTok, posted on September 29.

"Somebody who is not serious about starting a relationship isn't serious about their interest in you as a person and human being, will not stick around, and you want them to remove themselves ASAP," she said.

These are not the only TikTokers who have applied strategies straight out of a corporate human resources manual to their personal relationships.

TikToker Nadeen Hui put her boyfriend on a "Performance Improvement Plan," a tool used in the corporate world as a method to manage an employee on the verge of being fired.

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"My boyfriend and I were having a lot of issues in the beginning, like a lot," she said in her TikTok, posted on February 17.

As a "last straw," she put him on the plan to try to improve their relationship. This involved daily and weekly tasks for her boyfriend to do and a weekly check-in session — and Hui said it helped them get on the same page about their roles and responsibilities.

Hui added that "these lifestyle changes were for the better."

"I had to learn to be more accepting and easy going, and he had to learn to be more tidy and considerate of shared spaces," she wrote on TikTok.

Canadasdatingcoach, Manifestingbabe, and Jasmine did not immediately respond to Insider's requests for comment sent outside regular business hours.

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