- Mother's Day used to stress me because I'd always end up disappointed.
- I decided to let my family celebrate me however they want.
When I looked at this month's calendar, one day stood out: Mother's Day. Immediately, scenarios began running through my head. Would the kids wake me early in excitement, or would I get the sleep I truly longed for? Would I be happy and enjoy my family, or would I get through the day with clenched teeth and a fake smile?
There were so many possibilities, but I knew how things would go. I didn't want to be disappointed, but somehow, this holiday seemed to drive me there. Mother's Day is all about celebrating being a mom. And it is beautiful. Maybe that's why I felt so guilty for my disappointment.
Mother's Day used to be one more thing I tried to control. After all, I'm the one who keeps most of the day-to-day running smoothly around here. But then I realized I didn't want another task on my neverending to-do list. I wanted a break. I wanted to feel less pressure, not more.
So, instead of trying to manage Mother's Day, I chose to let my family celebrate me however they wanted to.
Letting go of my expectations is hard
Whether I admitted it or not, I had expectations for the day. I couldn't see it initially, but I wanted to fit a year's worth of appreciation, love, and self-care into 24 hours. My family was doomed to fail, and I was destined to be disappointed. That's why I had to let go.
My expectations of uninterrupted sleep, an amazing breakfast, laughter-filled family time, a sparkling house with all the laundry put away, and a massage were too much. The pressure to have the perfect Mother's Day was ruining the holiday. Tired of feeling this way, I wondered what it would be like to let my family celebrate me simply.
I handed over the reins with one caveat
Letting go of control isn't easy for me. And I really do want to enjoy my Mother's Day. Instead of planning the day or silently seething when things don't go my way, I let my family decide what to do. If they want to wake me at dawn as they bang around in the kitchen to make me breakfast in bed, great. If they give me a hanging basket or cut flowers or draw a card, amazing. If they want to go to the place they think I love but is really their favorite restaurant, I'm good with it.
The only expectation I have for the day is that they remember. That they take time to recognize me as their mom. I don't need a full-day affair; I simply want them to show me that they see me. That they will stop the normal daily routines for a little while to recognize one of the most significant things I ever have or ever will do in my life.
Sometimes, I tell them something I'd like for lunch or the new plant I've been eyeing, but then I leave it in their hands.
Letting go of pressure and disappointment to enjoy my family is more important than the idea of what Mother's Day should be. And if they don't get the lunch I want or the plant I ask for? I go out the next day and get it for myself with zero guilt.