The pandemic is damaging kids' mental health. Here's how parents can help.

• Rates of anxiety and depression in kids have been rising during the pandemic.
• Parents may want to placate their kids' worries, but it's important to validate how they're feeling.
• If mental health struggles are having an impact on your child's routine, seek professional help for them.

Contracting COVID-19 isn't the only pressing health concern for young people right now. More and more children and teens are struggling with their mental health during the pandemic, experts say.

"We're seeing the highest rates of anxiety, depression, substance abuse, suicidal thinking," Moe Gelbart, Ph.D, the director of Behavioral Health at Torrance Memorial Medical Center in Torrance, California, told Insider.

Some children are worrying about their futures or dealing with increased anxiety. Others - including the 6% of kids and teens living with serious emotional or behavioral difficulties - are experiencing more severe consequences. In Las Vegas, a spate of 18 teen suicides led school leaders to consider reopening in-person learning sooner than they otherwise might have.

"When we started to see the uptick in children taking their lives, we knew it wasn't just the Covid numbers we need to look at anymore," Superintendent Jesus Jara The New York Times. "We have to find a way to put our hands on our kids, to see them, to look at them. They've got to start seeing some movement, some hope."

During the past year, when kids and teens have been stressed by the pandemic, the social and emotional support of school has been pulled out from under them, Gelbart said.

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"Their coping mechanisms - going to school, seeing friends doing extracurriculars - a lot of that is absent," he said.

With that in mind, it's important that parents know how to support their kids, and when to reach out for medical help. Here's what Gelbart recommends.

Validate children's feelings

When a child or teen expresses their worries and fears over the pandemic, it's almost a reflex for adults to tell them "don't worry," or "it will all be OK."

"That's nice, but what it does is shut the child down because it doesn't honor what they are feeling," Gelbart said.

It's critical to acknowledge a child's feelings, because if they don't get validation from the adults in their lives, they'll turn to their friends, who might not have the advice they need.

Rather than give your child platitudes, use reflecting listening techniques that show you're hearing what they say. You don't have to agree, but focus on opening a conversation with questions such as "What's that like?"

If you don't know what to say, just keep it simple by saying "I understand."

Relax your expectations

The pandemic isn't the time to expect perfect grades or shining extracurricular achievements, Gelbart said. In fact, many kids could benefit from less pressure.

"Take your foot off the gas pedal," Gelbart said. "Parents want to normalize this, and there's a part of that that's good, but they have to realize it's nothing like it used to be. Parents need to manage expectations, to be OK with the fact that things are different."

As part of that, it's important not to judge your child's reaction to the pandemic. Even if the changes in their life - like not being able to have birthday parties with friends - don't seem big to you, they might be significant to them.

Make daily changes

Routine and structure can be especially important during the pandemic. In addition to the change above, Gelbart recommends that parents:

• Have a daily routine that gives children time to sleep, think, eat and move.
• Practice gratitude by asking children what they're grateful for or what they enjoyed each day.
• Focus on the here and now. If kids start asking "What if," try instead to focus on "what is" - the reality of right now, Gelbart said.

When to seek help

Some level of anxiety and moodiness is to be expected right now.

"Most of the time, one does not need external help," Gelbart said.

However, some children will need professional mental health treatment. If your child's daily routine and behavior change dramatically, you should ask them what's going on. If your worry persists, reach out to your pediatrician. If you're ever concerned that your child might hurt themselves or others, call 911.

"If mental health is impacting their mood and day to day functioning and having a significant negative affect, they probably need help before it gets worse," Gelbart said.