My 6-year-old's friend didn't want to play with him. Instead of stepping in as super mom, I let them figure it out themselves.

• The hardest part of being a parent is seeing our kids sad and not being able to fix it.
• It's important for kids to understand that it will get easier without parents jumping in.

By the time school started again, my son was excited to be reunited with his friends. He looked so proud walking into the play yard that first day back, Super Mario Brothers backpack stuffed with his first grade essentials.

I stepped back with the other parents as he went to line up, watching him slowly reacquaint himself with his buddies. Once I heard the mention of Pokemon come up, I knew he would be just fine.

And then he wasn't.

When it comes to kids, things can change in an instant

When he came home that first week, it wasn't easy to get him to update me on the day's adventures. At most, all I got was "It was good" or "It was fun." Yet I appreciated that he was eager to get started on his homework so he could enjoy some well-earned television time, impressed with how he was adjusting to what he referred to as "big kid school."

But then, as I was tucking him into bed one evening, he turned to me and said: "Mama, Carla doesn't want to play me anymore."

I asked what he meant so he would expand. "I asked her to play, and she said no and went off and played with the girls," his big blue eyes focused on the stuffed penguin he was holding.

I was shocked. They'd been cherished playmates, having known each other since they were in diapers. I assured him that it was nothing he was doing and laid with him till he drifted off to sleep.

Once he was snoring, I shifted into full mama bear mode. My son has a very sweet and gentle temperament, sure he can be feisty, but connects well with both boys and girls. He's just as comfortable making bead necklaces as he is playing with cars. My husband said that it's normal; kids outgrow one another, and he needed to learn that.

I consulted a child psychologist for answers

As a mom, my first instinct was to confront this girl and be like, "You have been to our house and peed on my carpet; how dare you ignore my kid?" But I wanted to make sure I navigated these issues properly from the start.

I was halfway through child psychologist Emily Edlynn's recently released "Autonomy Supportive Parenting" and was confident she would have some guidance for me. I emailed her, and sensing my desperation, she got right back to me. Firstly, she reminded me that swooping in and being a "super-parent" wasn't going to help the situation, but rather, I can use these challenging moments to help my son develop valuable coping skills.

"It's an opportunity to practice skills with emotions. Help him label how he's feeling about the situation and validate how hurtful it is to feel left out, sharing times when you felt excluded as a child," Edlynn said.

I also appreciated the idea she mentioned about reminding our son what it means to be a good friend. It's not like he doesn't have moments when he excludes someone.

Being a parent sometimes means giving our kids the space to process

Driving home from school a few days later, I brought up Carla, and we talked about how disappointed he felt when she chose not to play with him. I also reminded him that he had lots of other friends to play with.

"I know Mama, but I'm still going to keep asking her," he replied.

A month after our conversation, I picked him up from his after-school program, and there was Carla, playing with the other girls. He gathered up his stuff, and before we walked out the door, he turned around and shouted, "Bye, Carla." Surprisingly, she looked back and said, "Bye, Walter."

He beamed all the way to the car, and while it would still be a few more months before Carla and he started playing together again, in that moment, he already felt like he had won.