Mattel is now trying to make Uno happen — but no one's going to watch an Uno movie, even if Margot Robbie's in it
- Mattel wants a "Chief Uno Player" to hype another of its brands after the "Barbie" movie's success.
- The new hire must create content for a month, and will be paid $4,444 a week for their troubles.
Mattel is riding high on the box-office success of "Barbie." Its next gambit, it seems, is Uno.
Uno's a bit of a weird one to bank on right now, considering Mattel owns plenty of childhood brands, though I suppose we've had enough of "Toy Story" and "Jurassic World" for now. I wouldn't be mad at a "Hot Wheels" revival, though.
But Uno it is, per Mattel's new job listing. They're hiring a Chief Uno Player, and the ideal candidate for this role is "someone who's just as passionate about throwing down a Draw 4 as they are engaging strangers in a game."
The new hire is expected to "create and star in social content" for UNO games and must work out of New York four days a week, four hours a day, for four consecutive weeks. It pays well, too: The person hired will be paid $4,444 every week, per Mattel.
This person must also "be able to sit for long periods, lift and carry 50 lbs., and set up playing tables & tents on location," so it's not exactly a job for basement-dwelling Uno enthusiasts.
One can only hope this Uno hype isn't a precursor to an Uno movie.
Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling could star in it. But let's face it: No one wants to watch even A-listers play Uno in a dramatic way, or get sucked into an alternate universe, "Jumanji"-style, where throwing down a card is the only way to defeat one's greatest enemies. (Note: This reporter has no interest in being hired as a screenwriter for an Uno blockbuster flick but would not say no to royalties if this idea is taken up.)
It actually could get worse than watching A-listers playing Uno, though. There's always the bizarre possibility of a movie featuring people dressed up as anthropomorphized Uno cards.
Or, horror upon horrors: A team of beleaguered voice actors could be made to voice the different Uno cards, like whatever the "The Emoji Movie" was. Bless whoever gets cast as the "Draw 4" card, that's a tough one.
Either way, good luck to the Chief Uno Player-to-be. And if you get the job, please be sure to lobby Mattel to keep Uno off the big screen, for all our sakes.