- I'm a tech-literate digital immigrant, but I don't let my three children have screens.
- Screen-free childhoods have the potential to make you a 'marked man' amongst your peers.
In early 2020, I had three kids under 5, and like a lot of people, was juggling children, work, and no accessible support network because of the pandemic.
Despite these obstacles, I chose to keep my kids screen-free: they don't have iPads, smartphones, or computers and don't watch TV. I made this decision when I had my first child, and followed through when the other two came as well.
Raising your kids screen-free is not as radical as you would think.
I can't even remember why I started doing it
People in our lives have been surprised about keeping our kids screen-free — possibly because they have to confront their own kids' use of screens. I don't even remember why I decided just not to do screens with my firstborn — it was entirely normal to see people passing their phones to their toddlers in the cart while shopping at the supermarket.
I had a gut feeling that kids were spending too much in front of screens instead of doing other things. When I started digging into data, it all supported how I was already feeling.
The CDC says that the average daily screen time for 8-year-olds is six hours — excluding screen usage for educational purposes. That's a little over 114 days a year spent staring at a screen and being sedentary.
For me, it isn't just the huge chunks of my child's life being given to app developers, social media platforms, and people selling stuff. Screens also displace other activities, including playing outside, practicing sports, and connecting with peers.
Being screen-free means more time to argue about teeth-brushing and green vegetables, you know, the good stuff.
They do other things instead of looking at a screen
Since my children aren't spending six hours a day on a screen, they do all sorts of other stuff — some of it worthy, much of it banal, but at least there's a self-directed ebb and flow to their free time.
At the moment, they read lots of books, learn about "cool science stuff" and play outdoors.
My eldest is on the cusp of adolescence and will probably soon hate me for not letting him watch endless Instagram reels and videos. I'm also aware that, in raising my kids like this, I am making them uncool. Being like everyone else is the social path of least resistance through adolescence, and not being exposed to screens now positions my children as radically different.
They will have screens eventually, but I'm putting them off as long as I can
The issue of screen time and kids is more than Luddite pearl-clutching. There is good data to show that high levels of screen time are linked to poor teen mental health and well-being.
Mastery of the screens that will permeate their lives will come easily — the longer I can put this off, the better.
I stand by my decision to keep my kids a little weird and pretty uncool. Being different has long been a cause for bullying, but I also know that allowing my kids to be the same as their peers won't necessarily protect them from online or conventional bullying.
I hope that they are having a less distracted childhood, with fewer interruptions and less harmful input from online content.