- I had my first child at 22 and my second 29 months later, and I've never regretted my choice.
- Being a young parent made me more self-reliant and helped me connect with my children more.
My partner and I became pregnant with our first child, Hendrix, in 2015. I was 22 years old, and while we were not actively trying for a baby, we were on the same page about making a big life shift.
Over almost the entire nine months of that pregnancy, I experienced extreme nausea. That was on top of gaining 50 pounds, which inflicted severe back pain on my 4-foot-11 frame. Considering that physically rocky road to motherhood, I'm eternally grateful that my body was younger and more resilient.
Over the years, being a younger parent to our son — and later, our daughter — has had other benefits. Here's why I'm glad to be a young mother.
Youth gave me greater physical resilience
I cannot imagine managing the physical effects of either of my two pregnancies at a later age. These days, my body is far less capable of bouncing back. At 22, the ongoing pain and discomfort of pregnancy felt comparable to a bad hangover — a condition I could handle with more ease then than now.
I was also better equipped to navigate the drastic change in sleep patterns that accompanied life with a newborn; at that age, I was already accustomed to late-night work hours and social engagements, so surviving on two to three hours of rest each night while still fully functioning at my job was not a big change.
Having my kids young lowered my risk of conditions such as preeclampsia, high blood pressure, and prenatal diabetes, the incidences of which increase with the age of the birthing parent (among other factors), multiple studies have found. When birthing parents are in their mid-30s or older, the risks increase for the baby as well, with the chance of chromosomal abnormalities or miscarriage spiking.
I learned to focus on priorities early
Caring for a newborn — followed by the birth of our daughter, Harley, just 29 months later — kept me and my partner laser-focused on what was truly important: giving our kids the best life possible and becoming the kind of people and parents of which they could be proud. Personally, I became motivated to demand more of myself and decided to start approaching my career with an eye toward advancement.
My partner and I both felt inspired to reorganize our priorities, managing to save enough money to purchase our first home within three years of my son's birth. We also realized that our decisions would influence the choices our kids would make and developed better habits as a result. For example, I began eating more healthy whole foods, staying hydrated, and attempting to make physical activity a more regular part of my schedule.
I connected with my children more
When I had my first child, I still felt like a child myself in many ways. My youth enabled me to tap into the same childlike wonder my son was experiencing. It was almost as if we were growing up together, learning about life and building our self-confidence alongside each other.
When my daughter came along, it was easy for me to dive into the girly things she enjoyed, such as painting nails and doing hair because it felt like just yesterday that I was playing the same way myself. I'm so grateful that I could connect with my kids on their level more than I might have been able to at an older age, with the experience of youth further behind me.
I had more time to learn to be self-reliant
Anytime I failed on the road toward building a better life for my family, I knew that I had plenty of time to keep discovering depths of self-reliance. I learned fairly quickly to trust my instincts and find a way to make my goals a reality because a lot was riding on the outcome.
Early on, when I encountered trouble with my milk production during breastfeeding, the advice I got from other mothers did little to fix the problem. When I leaned into the unique way that my body and my baby were made, I discovered a path forward that worked for me. Today, I draw a great deal of strength from knowing that I have what it takes to figure out any problem that arises. I'm glad I built that mental muscle earlier on in life, as an integral piece of my parenting journey.
My age means I can enjoy big milestones sooner
I'm set to reach the "empty nester" season much earlier than most of my friends. By the time I'm 40, my son will be an adult, and my daughter will reach 18 not long after. While I'm certainly not seeking to rush them through their childhood, I look forward to having ample time to enjoy a longer, healthier next phase of my life. If I'm lucky enough to become a grandmother someday, I will likely still be young enough to run around with my grandbabies and play an active role in their childhoods.
As women grow older, many of us tend to face the dreaded question from family and friends about when we're going to have kids. By diving into parenthood a bit earlier than most, I avoided this situation — though I often face an entirely different inquiry from onlookers who are curious how I can look so young as a mother. While I may be young, motherhood has empowered me to gain wisdom and maturity beyond my years. Today, I am a better version of myself thanks to the head start.