I moved twice for my spouse's career — then we got divorced. Here's what the experience taught me.

• Laura Wheatman Hill was relieved the first time she had to move for her husband's career.
• Once in Philadelphia, Wheatman Hill found a satisfying job, but had to give it up to move again.

I got my master's of arts in teaching and certification to teach in Oregon the year I got married. My new husband and I had been together for five years at that point and were living in Salem, Oregon, where we'd gone to undergrad together.

My first year of teaching was difficult, as most first years of teaching are, so I was relieved when my husband got into dental school in Philadelphia. I could start over.

Eventually, I'd move again for his career.

Was moving twice for my husband the right thing to do? Hard to say. I had no qualms at the time and neither did my mother or trusted friends. Would I advise a friend or my kids to do the same?

Not necessarily. My husband and I are now divorced. I'd suggest someone in my position do many things differently.

The first big move seemed good at first

I had to get recertified to teach in Pennsylvania, but the requirements to teach in Oregon had been stricter, so it was mostly just a matter of paperwork. I had no connections or prospects in Pennsylvania, and we had no had no friends or family there, either.

My husband's dental schooling was going to cost about $200,000, so we were taking out loans from the federal government. Most dental students also took out private loans to pay for living expenses, but we wanted to avoid that and live off of whatever salary I could get.

I got a job teaching middle school English and drama in a Philadelphia suburb — but my salary, though it was higher than what I'd been paid in Oregon, still didn't cover our rent and other living expenses. We used money from a trust my grandfather left me to cover the rest.

My job was demanding and exhausting, but I loved my students and was passionate about teaching. It was a much better job for me than my first school.

Four years later, I moved for him again

When he graduated, he got a job offer back in Oregon, where he's from originally.

It was an easy decision to move; we much preferred Oregon. The weather, which was less extreme, suited us. Philadelphia was a bigger, more expensive, rougher city, which had been a shock to my husband — he wanted to be home with his family.

It was bittersweet, but I left my job, which I loved and was good at. We bought a house in Portland using the rest of my trust money as a down payment, and I got pregnant.

That fall, 2013, I failed to get a full-time job in a year with fewer jobs after many teachers had been furloughed due to budget cuts. I had my daughter, and later a son, and worked part-time as a drama teacher and English tutor in various schools and programs. I never had what could be called a "career," though. Piecing together childcare between babysitters and grandparents was more work than the work itself, and often not cost-effective.

It was frustrating. I worked hard for years in a career that didn't pay well or appreciate me. Teaching seems to only be financially stable if you stay in one place forever, which I didn't do.

I did what I felt I had to do for love — but I wouldn't recommend it for anyone else

We divorced really fast, but it was really contentious and I had to negotiate a lot. The expensive graduate degree I supported him through to get his successful career going — plus the years after, when I handled every sick kid day, pediatrician visit, no-school day, and parent meeting — don't feel worth it now.

I don't regret what I did; I did what I thought I had to do for love. I love my kids, and I'm rebuilding my career — still teaching sometimes, but mostly writing from my home in Oregon.

I did have a prenuptial agreement before I got married, and I would advise everyone to do the same. However, mine didn't hold up due to the way I used my grandfather's trust on joint marital property. Make sure money which should belong to you as an individual is able to continue to belong to you no matter what.

Also, if you're passionate about your career or your own livelihood and independence, don't give it up as easily as I did. Your degree, career choice, reproductive choices, gender, salary, IQ — none of it dictates your worth. I forgot that for a while.