I invested in early social media startups. After having 3 kids, here's why I never share my kids' photos online and prefer group chats instead.

• Mark Weinstein is a dad of three kids under 9.
• He was an early investor in a social media company.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Mark Weinstein, author of Restoring Our Sanity Online. It has been edited for length and clarity.

Back in 1998, I launched two social media companies: SuperFamily and SuperFriends. I wanted to help connect families online. Social media at that time felt so beautiful and wholesome to me.

Now I'm a privacy expert, and I talk about the dangers of surveillance capitalism, where Big Tech companies make money from selling your data.

I'm also a dad of three kids under 9. That's intentionally vague because I share as little information about them as possible.

I have strict rules for my kids, friends, and family to keep my children safe online and around technology.

I never allow pictures to be posted

I don't ever post pictures of my kids. If your privacy settings are locked down, strangers might not see a lot, but social media platforms still see (and store) everything. I don't want that algorithm to be able to identify my children.

When I talk with family and friends about this policy, it's a simple conversation. If I see someone taking a picture, I ask them not to post it. Sometimes, that opens a bigger conversation about why we have that rule. It has never led to friction.

I rely on group texts instead

For me, group texting is what social media was five years ago.

In a group text, I can share a cute update about the kids or send a picture to another parent on a playdate.

It's private, secure, and an effective way of building connections without the risk of exposing the kids' faces and their data (including who they spend time with) on social media.

My tots have 0 screens — not even FaceTime

My two younger children have zero screen time. In fact, we don't even FaceTime with family. I think it's very unsettling for kids to see their loved ones behind a screen. Personally, I don't think toddlers are equipped to understand why their loved one (who they normally see in person) is now on the screen. I worry it can be disorienting, and I don't think the benefits of a FaceTime chat are worth the possible emotional confusion for my kids.

My older child has just started using one of my two phones to text me when I'm out. That's the only thing they're allowed to use the phone for.

It gives me the same sense of security that I used to have with a landline. I monitor their phone use very carefully and encourage other parents to do the same.

We have tech-free playdates but don't try to force our rules on others' houses

When my child has friends over, we have a no-tech rule. They have so much more fun outside or doing art projects. But when my kid goes to a friend's house, I know they might be exposed to YouTube or online games.

I don't try to enforce my rules at other people's houses — in the same way, my kid might get more sugary treats at a friend's than at home.

Luckily, my eldest child has realized they have more fun playing offline, so I don't have to worry about too much exposure with friends.

I teach my kids about online privacy and critical thinking

Just like I teach my children about physical privacy within the home, I talk with them about online privacy, too.

I also touch on the dangers of being online. I'll say something like, "This is a new industry, and we need to figure out how to filter it so that it's right for kids." Or, "Social media can lock you inside your head and expose you to ideas you're not ready for."

This language helps kids feel like they're being protected, not punished.

I flip the script on sharing

As kids get older, there's more opportunity for friends to tag them on social media or share pictures online.

I'm not at that stage yet, but I hope to talk with my children so they're confident asking friends not to share their pictures if that's their preference. I want to create allure around being an offline kid.

I model tech-free time

Kids do what their parents do, not what their parents say. That's why it's important to me not to use my phone or technology in front of the kids. When they're around, I keep my phone up high and well out of reach.

With some practical steps, we can navigate this world of screens to keep our kids and ourselves healthy and protected online.

After all, everything that's good for our kids when it comes to online privacy is also good for us.